Tayari's Blog: Confessions of a Video Vixen

Comment #1, by rocka

Interesting comparisons... I haven't read this book, for the simple fact, that I don't want my IQ to decrease... But from the way you describe it, there may be anthroplogical reasons as to why I need to check it out...lol

Comment #2, by Tinesha

I have read this book (and I was ashamed to admit that) - but you have expressed some really valid and poignant points that makes me glad that I did read the book because it really does offer a slice of the mind frame of someone who had to deal with the ordeals she dealt with as a child. It really is a study in psychology as well as sociology.
Wow - you now make me want to offer this up as a reading suggestion for my book club - it really does have relevant points to talk about.

Comment #3, by Anquinetta

Thanks for the overview, T., because I refuse to read it and now I don't have to read it. -lol.

Comment #4, by eric f

i have not read this book and have not decided if i am going to or not...
just interesting to see all the buzz out there concerning her and the book!
i think it will definitely inspire some others with some of the same type of experiences to write additional "tell all" books to cash in while they have the opportunity to do so! thanks for your review! best/ eric

Comment #5, by Denise

I too am ashamed to admit that I read this book. My 18yr old daughter had a copy from a friend. An avid reader myself I had heard of this book but was not at all interested in purchasing a copy for myself. As I begin to "scan" this book I thought "this chick is delusional". Some of what she's written reads more like fiction then fact. To go from one encounter with an individual, drop to your knees for this man, not see him for several months (knowing he was either married or you were not his one an only) and to then repeat the same "mistakes". I too was molested (by a cousin and my step-father to whom my mother is married). I also had 3 children out of wedlock, all before I turned 21 and I didn't do half the stuff Ms. Stephens (Santiago) describes in her book. Nor do I hate my mother, step-dad, cousin or anyone else (thanks to receiving Christ in 2000). I CHOSE to go another route, finish school, raise my children and pursue my goals the "OLD FASHIONED" way! NO EXCUSES OR BLAME SHIFTING!!

Comment #6, by Denise

I failed to mention in my previous comment that I did finish the book in a matter of a few days and I was not at all impressed. If you'd like a much better read, please read any book written by Victor Christopher Murray just to name one artist whose literary work I am impressed with.

Comment #7, by karrie

WhatI have to say is ,we as a society feed off of the very things ,we claim to be(emberassed by).Guess what,Ms.stephens is having the last laugh! All this publicity is doing just what she knew it would do sell books ,her main goal.Remember in order to heal,u must admit the problem(S),Iwish u all the luck in the world!

Comment #8, by Nina Mitchell

I have read the book and I must say she had me for a good minute. I felt sorry for her when she described the abuse from her mother and her rape while she was still a virgin would scar any child. I can see how she could get into this life style. When you lack love in your life you lack a major part of your human development. To love and be loved is so very important. If you know someone truly loves you, then you want to keep that love and feel that love. So sex was how she showed her love and she figured being the best of the best in the sexual arena would get these guys whipped into loving her. It might have worked on a common man but not a rich man who can have any woman he wants. All the groupies are trying to do the same thing. Watch what I say...I feel this book might create superduperheads! Because they will say well she went about it the wrong way. She had these men and messed up with them...didn't play the game right. Key word a game...ladies.... a deadly game and who wins....the men! Meanwhile we suffer.

Comment #9, by Sonja

Luckily my twin sister purchased the book and I was able to read it in two days. Reading the book, I kept wanting more...Like when these men were giving her money, how did it FEEL knowing your dependent on these men? It is an idea so foreign to me, a daughter of two psychologists, who is a critical thinker. I didn't like how it ended. I felt it was rushed. Also, even though she gave up the drug abuse, she continued to abuse alcohol and returned to married men. Is she fraternizing with those same men now? I think that she needs therapy. It's great that she's getting paid so well (apparently 7.3 million), but I hope that she truly heals herself...

Comment #10, by Jenny

The book was very sad to me. It was written from the standpoint of a young girl who has yet to grow up. Most disappointing is that she never fully recognizes what an awful mother she is and how she is treating her son so similar to how her mother treated her.

Even more disappointing to me though, was the fact that many of the men she slept with where married. I guess we all know that rap stars are notorious for that type of behavior it was somewhat unbearable to have it confirmed.

Comment #11, by Mambo

With all the scandalous details Karrine revealed about herself in her book, I cannot seem to hate her. She is a product of her lifestyle, and unfotunately not everyone is strong enough to make right decisions in the midst of bad circumstances. Sadly, there are many women and young girls that I've seen and heard are just like her. Many women, desperate for affection,can tend to lose good conscience and even a piece of themselves for a man's attention. What we can ask ourselves is what's the cause? Steffans did point out her fascination for the hip hop culture in her late teens. Could mysoginistic messages in popular music be the cause? You answer the question.

Comment #12, by Fe'

I think Ms. Karrine, chose this life style
because it was an "easy way out" for her.
She says she has no regrets from her past.
But for as much as she says she loves her son, she didn't love him enough to raise him the first years of his life. Now she
is dating Bill Maher, of the HBO show
"Politically Incorrect" and seems to think she is "Above and Beyond" everybody.

Comment #13, by Erica

I read the book and it doesn't seem as if she is looking for anyone's sympathy. She believes that was her destined path and was simply telling her story. That's it, she states that she would do it all again so to me she is expressing that she knows what she is and excepted it. Her story was interesting, and shameful. I just hope that her story helps some of our youth that want to go down that same path.

Comment #14, by Erica

Oh, yeah. Look, I'm not going to lie she did have me wondering who Papa was? Can anyone tell me?

Comment #15, by Katherine

I didn't want to waste my money and my time, so my girlfriend purchased the book and told me to read it. I quickly read through it, skipping most of the sections that seemed like imagination world. Yes, I was abused, pulled into the closet at age 9. Overcame and became stronger through my spirituality. Steffans had an opportunity to heal when she moved with her father, but the BLING didn't look as promising. She desired to seek greener grass. At the end, here is the kicker, she stated that she would do it all over again, NO REGRETS! I'm sorry, if given a second chance, there are episodes in my life that I KNOW that I would erase the script before beginning. This woman used sex as a form income and the black community should feel sorry for her? YEAH RIGHT! The highest increase in AIDS cases right now are black women, you do the math. In November 2004, which was just last year, she was butter-ball naked in a limo waiting for Ursher....Should Bill Maher drop her like a bad habit, will she result back to her old habits, being a glorified prostitute, probably so!

Comment #16, by tanya23

I mus say that I have read the book and I really liked it. I think she is just telling her story. I would give it 4 out of 5 stars. I would like to know who papa could be.

Comment #17, by marquita morris

I must first congratulate Miss. Stephans on one of the smartest moves she has ever made. Making this book was a very lucrative way for her to make money. (7.3 million dollars) Anyway my comment about Video Vixen is that the first part of the book had me hooked. I couldn't put it down for the first eight chapters. However by the end of the book I grew bored and tired of hearing about her making the same stupid mistakes. Especially about Usher and Irv Gotti. If in fact they were so horrible, why did she keep sleeping with him? Fortunately I borrowed this book and don't have to feel the guilt of my own money going to her drinking and drug habit that I'm almost positive that she still has. I feel horrible that her son had to go thru the first 5 yrs of life living this way. Also I have my own theory as to who Papa is. Ladies Love Cool James!

Comment #18, by jamille

papa is method man.. at least thats what im told..

Comment #19, by Ashley

I love the book. I know so many girls her age that are living that life. Of course, not the video Vixxen part, but the rape and domination by older men that have took them in. I think it's great that in some way, she's found strength in her struggle as well as resolve with her life. She obviously has grown and learned something from it, for she is no longer living that same life. Even for a moment, she's escaped her rut which gives those in that situation a little glimpse of hope. And if it does nothing else, it provides a mirror for those in that situation as well as someone to relate to. It's not all that bad. I mean nothing to be proud of, but at this point in her life, she can only go up. Why dis the tale of her life? It's HER life.

Comment #20, by Karen

We are so quick to judge women, especially black women for who they choose to share their bodies with. We get angry because she let this man or that man disrespect her, but we never get mad at the men who disrespected their wives and girlfriends by sleeping with Ms. Stephens. If they thought so little of their partners as to risk their relationships and or their physical well-being (communicable diseases) by sleeping with an obviously hurt and destructive person, then whose fault is that really? Why hold her accountable for the choices they have made?

Also, these men make millions of dollars from the exploitation of black women. They perpetuate images and tell stories that degrade black women to their very core and invite the rest of the world to participate. Some of us think that we are safe, but it impacts us all. “Nice” women feel the brunt of such abuse in the judgments of our brothers, friends, sons, husbands and lovers, who bob their heads to misogynistic lyrics that in turn impact how they relate (and chose not to relate) to us. So, if Ms. Stephens opts to profit from her own painful experiences of exploitation who are we to judge? Why are we even interested? Maybe because she’s an easy target, easier than seriously addressing men who profit from our pain and some of the men in our lives who consume these images with a disturbing zeal.

I wish nothing but the best for Ms. Stephans. I pray that she stays far away from people who would use and toss her away like garbage. I pray that she continues to be honest about her life and cares for herself in healthy and productive ways. And I also hope that her relationship with Bill Maher or whomever she chooses is filled with love and more happiness than her heart can hold. I think black women deserve a lot more love and care than is currently afforded us, no matter who we have chosen or have been forced to share our bodies with.

Comment #21, by aisha

I liked the book it kept me interested. I also think papa is llcoolj

Comment #22, by ydg027

ll cool j is papa

Comment #23, by Leslieann

Well i have not read the book, i'm 15 and probably won't be able to read the book for a long time, but one of the girls that goes to my school is reading it and while we were on the bus the other day, she and the bus driver started a conversation about the book. The bus driver says that she thinks that "big Papa" is Russell Simmons, because in the book it says that the mans' family always called to check in on him or something like that.

Comment #24, by Lisa

I read the book and must admit that I could not put it down... While many women are quick to judge her, did anyone ever think about worthless she must have felt as a child which in turn made her not value her self worth... From a psychology standpoint, some women are able to use the abuse as a stepping stone and advance emotionally knowing that it is not right to hurt others... However, from Karrine's standpoint, she never experienced love from anyone therefore she never loved herself... Maybe a great majority of you who have read this book was not either physically, emotionally, and sexually abused in ALL three facets as a child so how can YOU relate... With no money, a child to feed, and living in one of the most expensive cities in the US, Karrine did what she had to do to survive. Whether she worked at Burger King or a strip club, she may have still made the same mistakes... It was the lack of love for herself that allowed for her to keep being abused over and over... This happens everyday to people, however I was glad that she spoke the truth... Perhaps this is her HEALING and THERAPY. So to ALL of my sisters out there PRAY for her instead of JUDGE her...

Comment #25, by Adrianna Larson

i personally thought the book wuz very good since i can relate...im 18 and im currently a stripper and i enjoy being one....it makes me feel better thinkin that people appreciate my work. so i think Karrina Steffans did a good job writin the book

Comment #26, by MIjdah

I am interested in how you found slavery similar to the story of this young woman. I am almost insulted that you could find anything about our history in any comparison to someone who chose such a disturbing lifestyle that is manipulated by money, notoriety and mere vanity to the journey of an entire human race. Please elaborate more on the comparison or slaves in America, Caribbean and Latin America to this woman’s story. You should choose you words wisely when describing someone’s interpretation of ones life

Comment #27, by teeshiman

I also thought the book was very interesting. Karrin really should get proffessional help. She had to deal with lots of issues growing up. It makes me so sad her mother was never there for her.I would only hope she has made a turn for the best. I think Papa is Treach from "Naughty By Nature". If you look at the timeline in the book,Karrine talk about how she run home to catch papa on tv when she 14 years old. That is right around the time Naughty by nature was big. She also mentioned that Papa was married in 2001. Didn't Treach marry Pepa "Salt n Pepa " in that year. Clue number #3 he lives far from LA. He lives in Jersy .... right
How ironic the name she chose is Papa. Papa...Pepa! Any connection! Plus he looks like her type.

Comment #28, by Rosalyn

I loved it.Her life was a mess and she is still a little girl playing at being a grown up. One of the best ways to heal is to write. Boy did she write.I also think "Papa" is LL Cool J. More Power to you girl.

Comment #29, by Mekemia

I read the book in a day and I must say that I have mixed emotions about it. I feel that Karreine just like anyone else who is trying to get out of a bad situation. She did any and everything to have that life she always dreamed of.She did what a lot of us wish we could do ball all around the world on someone eles's dime.Not having to grow up in a sense.No responsibilities to constantly think about. I think she wanted to feel important. I can tell just by the company she kept. She can not say she was looking for love or acceptance because then she would have just laid with anyone.She didn't.She only slept with the big ballers or the one's who had the potential to become one. In the book when Santana (the guy from The Steve Harvey Show)had fallen off she played as if she was so changed and in tune with God and refused to sleep with him. Not even the next paragraph she found herself back in bed with Jarule. So she wasn't that changed. He had no money and Ja Rule did. See the difference? I am not angry at her for doing the things she did because just in everyday discussions at my salon every woman that I speak with are all looking for a baller. We might not go to the extremes that she went to but we will do somethings that we won't be proud of later. The bottom line is that everyone wants an easier life. It is just some people will do what ever to get it. I hope she realizes that she is searching for someting and that her happiness come in the form of all of that money. I don't care how much she has.

Comment #30, by keisha german

are you still a hoe or not?
Cause in the book i didn't quite understand if you wanted to change or not cause of the way you closed out not to be rude i just want to know are you still a hoe or do you have more respect for yourself now

Comment #31, by Mari

As far as the identity of "Papa," I believe it is Method Man. LL Cool J had been married too long in comparison to the excerpt of the book that "Papa" was recently married in 2001. LL Cool J has been married since 1995. Who knows LL might be on the list but doesn't fit the profile of "Papa."

Comment #32, by Concerned

I have read the book and heard the interviews. I just hope that she has learned from her mistakes finally. She has a hustle that has clearly made her rich and not want for nothing and that hustle is writting. I to felt sad for her at the begining but as I read on she was making the same mistakes over and over again and to my understanding there will be a part two of the confession. I think that the book would have been alot better if it was written as an Urban Fiction book then her own bio because we could of visualize ourselves in that charahter position then we could have voiced our opinion without any conflict. However, overall it was an enteratining read and always good for discussion.

Comment #33, by Peaches

I too, read the book within one day. In the beginning she kept me interested, due to the fact, i felt sorry for her. First, as a child not having anyone to protect her, but her grandmother with "situation of abuse, at the hands of her mother."; Second, being raped as a form of loosing her virginity; Third, being in a abusive marriage. I could understand the need to have sex with this one and that one (to fill a void or show love). For this reason, she was never showered with love, so she doesn't know what it is to have it reciprocated on to her...."you can't miss something you never had" is a good and true statement. If you notice in the book though...she claimed she loved all of these men and they loved and cared about her. This is so far from the truth. It seem as if she was also in denial about the way she was being used, as well. No one who cares about you would use and abuse you in the way that they did to her. "In which she calls love" NOT!

Now towards the end, i somehow thought that she would have learned her lesson after these men had taking so much from her soul, but she didn't, she continued to see them over and over again. Now, i am confused because she started to profess the fact that she had begun to see the light, and that she was learning that this was not a godly life....you know speaking with god and such. In the end, my assessment is that "she didn't learn a thing from her mistakes" and that is so, so sad. I believe to this day Karrine "Superhead" Steffans would still sleep with the rich and famous for money. Her son, poor baby....i can't even imagine what she put this child though emotionally and physically.

Finally, i really don't like the things that she said about Merlin Santana....if i was his family i would sue the hell out that women.

Comment #34, by Been There, Done That

I would just like to say that unless you have been through all of what she's been through, you cannot judge her. I, personally enjoyed the book and appreciated her honesty. Like she said, she's not proud of everything she's done, but wouldn't change it. It can't be changed! This is her life. And whether we want to admit it or not, this is the lifestyle of thousands of young black women today looking for that "mill-ticket". I'm not ashamed to say that I too, was one. I could relate to almost everything Karrine did to get what she wanted. From partying so hard days at a time that most of the events are a blur, to sleeping with men-celebrities or not- to make ends meet. Unlike Karrine, however, I didn't fall in love with, nor did I care for my "tricks". I knew that they were using me just like I was using them. Its supply and demand.

In closing, I want to say that this book has almost inspired me to tell my story also. I'm not sure if I want to put myself out there like that yet but, boy do I have a story to tell also! People need to open there eyes and realize that these types of things are going on not only in the big cities, but in your own backyards. Girls are learning faster and faster to "use what they've got to get what they want". I'm not saying it's right but it's so true. It's 2005 and things are only going to get worse.

P.S. I can't end without one disagreement however: The way she dropped her baby off on the curb like that and left him for the next few YEARS of his life was totally unacceptable. Then she turns around and dedicates the book to him. Girl, you better pray your son still LOVES YOU after reading what you did to him. That was really sad, the way she abandoned him and thats the only disagreement I have.

Comment #35, by Been There, Done That

Oh and by the way, Papa is definately LLCoolJ. Trust Me.

Comment #36, by "Always, Learn From Your Mistakes and Grow"

Me personally, I don't think it's so much that i am judging Ms. Karrine for how she slept with this one and that one "for money."

The key word is "learn" from your mistakes!!!!

"I told my story to help other girls who are going in the direction as myself" she replied. Where is the lessoned learned? I didn't see it!! At the end, when i had only two pages left.....Ms. Steffan's was still humping this celebrity and that one, so it's about calling it as it is. She was sleeping around in the beginning because she thought it was a way to give and receive the "love" she desperately needed, but in the end (she is a "hoe") because she now knows, after all of the men, that....THAT isn't the way to go about RECEIVING AND GIVING love.

Comment #37, by Tracy

If you have not read video vixen and decide that you need to for seem reason - borrow it. This book just seems like another way for Karrine to sell herself to a wider audience.

Comment #38, by Virgo_Blaque

I just recently purchased the book after my cousins repeatedly talked about all of the trials this woman goes through. I decided to pick up a copy. Karrine is not a strong author, however she is a Black woman that has been through so much from her childhood throughout her early adult years. Things most women couldn't even imagine and lived to tell about it. She is definitely a strong woman and a smart one too. I usually wouldn't support a book where the author is an ex-stipper turned model/actress. It is just not an appeal that I have and I do not encourage this lifestyle, but if this book touched me and taught me to value life and all that God has blessed me with then it could possibly instill some values in some of the yourger ladies growing up today. Many of the girl nowadays look at the lifestyle the "video chics" and rappers prosonify and find it glamorous and very appealing. Karrine put all of the deadly secrets and cleared up some misconceptions about the industry. I have read most of the comments before mine and whoever is ashamed should be. Not for reading this book, but just for saying that you are ashamed. You are not only supporting a Black sista you are obtaining knowledge that you may need to use later in life. Books are read to obtain information not just for enjoyment solely. This book helps one learn to appreciate the little things in life instead of complaining. Think about it. Don't you feel blessed?

Comment #39, by kimberly

I read the book and this book show's how quick people are to judge. There is a difference between judging and minding your business.....go figure.All these women say she is a hoe but if ll cool j called you and said he will be over for dinner would you really reject him? Or if you got a call
allan iverson wants you to come stay with him for the weekend because he knows your friend? If you say no you are a damn lie and your breath stink!!! Every womans fantasy is to be close to a celebrity because most pwople die without it ever happening most people want to know what it is like to be close to someone who earns 10 million dollars a year. Stop judging her and enjoy her adventure's because it is as close as you will come!!!

Comment #40, by Ty

I have to admit, I was hooked on this book when I first started reading it, I know that everyone says that they werent hooked, but they are lying.I,too, felt sorry for Karrine, at the beginning, but after all the things that she had to endured, I no longer felt sorry for her because she was repeating the same path that she had watched her mother endure when she was a child...Im not going to hate on her but I think that she should have learned from her earlier life experiences, to try and live a better life. The book was a page turner, I dont think that I would recommend anyone to buy it (like I did 17.47) because Ms.Steffans already has enough money!

Comment #41, by Tiffany

I've read the book, and i was neither disturbed or ashamed to have read it. For one, Confessions was no different from other african-american novels such as 'Flygirl' and 'The Coldest Winter Ever'. Only difference is that Confessions was non-fiction. Also Superhead is no different from alot of these young girls today out here who are sleeping around "for fun". And the only difference with that is she engaged strictly with celebrities. The only credit i can give to why she led the life she has in the book was due to her past. Yea i can see girls who came from broken homes and had no positive guidance or direction given to them, to do alot of what Superhead did. But then again what about the girls who have "perfect" lives or dont come from broken homes and "sleep around". I think it's more of them than any other type of girl. I'm not justifying Superhead for her actions, but you can't sit and point fingers when people's daughters, sisters, female cousins, mothers, aunts etc. are out here especially in the hoods sleeping around with whomever. I come from a city to know that it seems everyone is sleeping with everyone. Superhead may sound like a disgusting little slut but who hasn't had sex on the first date nowadays? I mean keep it real?! It's so easy to criticize, but i think it's easier to be a hypocrit. Superhead had desires and let her guard down the way many women do nowadays, why do you think there coming out with books like "Hes Just Not That Into You". I swear, I would be counting for days if I tallied up all the grown women and young girls i know who are similar to Superhead. I think people dont take the time out to understand the message at the end. Just like in 'The Coldest Winter Ever', you can call Winter a slut, but theres definately a message the author is trying to throw out to you. And thats most of what these books are about, the moral of the story.

Comment #42, by Ivy

I think her book is a good learning tool for those young girls that think the BLING BLING and being in music video's is the thing to do.

Comment #43, by Ivy

And, yes I think PAPA is Treach, from Naughty by Nature.

Comment #44, by Teresa

I only have one statement to make and it is she is a drug addicted liar, I just listened to her interview on Hot 97 with Miss Jones and she was so discombobulated with all of the lies that she told that she left the studio for a time because she had to regroup. I have no idea who papa is nor do I care. I am just happy that I borrowed the book, I will not give her one penny toward her drug habit nor her nasty lifestyle.

Comment #45, by Sage

I just bought the book this morning, and finished it in about 3 and a half hours. I loved it, I like the fact that she was honest. I believe that she wasn't looking for sympathy, but just simply wanted to tell her story. I think it was like therapy for her. People are saying it's just a way for her to make money. Okay, yeah wouldn't that be the point. Would you rather her continue to sleep around with different men just to survive. Then you'll critizise her about that. People are such hypocrites. Karrrine keep doing your thing!

Comment #46, by Queenasia

hi my name is queenasia and iam only 14 yraes old and i picked up the book because i liked the cove but when i read the book i frlt like that same litthe girl that got raped

Comment #47, by Ed

I think that this lady got to be given credit for turning a negative to a positive. Hopefully she will use her lessons learned and educate women. I would like to see a person with her experiences stress to young girls that their contributions are much more than physical. Women should strive to respect themselves and not view sex as a sport, but something that is shared between two people that care for each other.

Comment #48, by Cori

I read the book in about % hours and actually thought it was pretty good. She wasn't telling her story to get people to say " Wow, she slept with.....". She was trying to get across to young women that all you see on TV in the videos isn't as Fantastic as it looks. She had a jacked up life and did alot of messed up things, nobody's perfect. She may have slept around and did drugs. No sin is greater than another. Everybody has there secret's she was just real and let the world know hers and her issues. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion, but don't hate.

Comment #49, by TJ

I read this book and I dont know why I did. I did not want to contribute to her financial funds but with all the hubbub and hearing her visit a radio show one morning, I was like what da heck, so I purchased it at half.com for about 9bucks. Let's say I was less than impressed and I ONLY finished reading it as I just hate to start a book and NOT finish it. I cant even say I was even midway through it when I was said to myself what a bunch of BS. It was if she was desperately trying to get the reader to buy into this image of her being abused by her mom and just about everyone around her. The writing was also totally out of choronological order at one point I was thinking it was just her & her mom that had relocated to Fla until she mentioned she had sisters. I also thought the book was going ot end a totally different way and show or prove that she had learned some valuable lessons but it didnt. It also appeared as if she just threw in some stuff just for publicity sakes such as the section about Usher, Merlin Santana, and Bobby Brown. I mean its not that I am doubting her, I could really care less who this woman has slept with....but some of it just seems so idiotic that it fails to make any sense whatsoever.

In listening to her on a radio show promoting her book, she stated this was a book for all the little girls who had dreams of being a video vixxen and the pitfalls they would encounter and endure. This book really had little to do with her being a video vixxen in so much that it was about all the mistakes one can make when they simply value their looks and have a strong desire to be famous by any means necessary.

Hmm I am not sure if I totally agree with your comparsion of Steffans book to the memoirs of female slave narratives. While I do feel Steffans catered her book to a different audience, she had more choices than slave woman, so I dont believe that is a totally fair comparsion.

I did read that book by Harriet Jacobs but it was in my teenage years, I must read it again so how you came to such a conclusion

Comment #50, by Masakado

I am not hear to judge this young lady and/or personal/financial motives...however, I do question the authenticity of her emotions and desire to repent. But what disturbs me the most is how she now glorifies Bill Maher the man she's currently seeing. Basically saying "this is the smartest man I know, I've learned so much from Bill Maher, and his intelligent friends." I really believe had she put herself in a position of respect, the majority of these encounters with the music industry and hollywood, would not have taken place. It's just really sad that not one good black man, pulled her to the side to say..."Hey, you really need to think about the lifestyle you're insatiably heart is pursuing." But, she now feels that Bill Maher is helping her do that. The one thing I do know...she didn't seem happy without money, and we all know even when you now have money...it doesn't bring about internal happiness...

Comment #51, by Tiffany

Just finished the book 10 minutes ago. I must say that this book is so contrived. It was written to be overdramatic and embellished heavily on many events that took place...I think! Much of the prose is so juvenile and scattered, I can not believe she is suppose to be writing a novel...get real, your writing sucks! Anyhow, I believe that she had sex with many of the men she wrote about, however, the way she says things happened, such as people, immediately saying she is to be their wife--is totally exaggeration. I also feel that much of the book, esp. in the beginning, was over dramatized to make the reader feel sorry for her.

Comment #52, by JANET

i havent read the book but i just want to know who she slept around with and what kind of drugs she did

Comment #53, by Michelle Figaroah

Although it is true that everyone has skeletons in their closet everyone doesn’t treat their bodies with such utter disrespect and stupidity. Aside from the emotional scars that she will carry for the rest of her life she will also never be respected or viewed as credible because of the way she carries herself. I find her story sad, sick and disturbing to say the least. She is not only a disgrace to black women but also a disgrace to women of the Caribbean. She should have been ashamed to tell her story to anyone and very lucky if she has not contracted a venereal disease. If she is so worried about young girls why doesn’t she set a good example for them rather than end the book detailing her last sexual escapades with usher she never learned or changed a bit from being a slut and is getting old and washed up. Women who carry themselves in that way age quickly. Her purpose for writing the book is the same as her purpose was for selling her body, dignity and self respect to every man who offered her a few dollars... to make a profit. She need's therapy.

Comment #54, by kimberly

i was message #39 does anyone agree with ehat i said

Comment #55, by Tonya Johnson

I am an english major and I read books with intellectual substance, but as an African American woman, I felt a need to read this book; as I am fascinated with the idea of a "black girl lost". Many people turn away from the book because of the subject matter, but I think that is preceisley why they should read it. When I read it, I realized Karrine Stefans had some of the same self-esteem issues that plaqued women. I feel like everyone can relate to her story because we've all been there one way or another. It is important to know the power of choices. This is not a book about justification, but about choices. If you don't love yourself, you will allow others to abuse you because you are substituting attention for self-love, or esteem. I certainly wouldn't judge her, we all have to find self-value, some of us just have sense enough to know what we are worth.

Comment #56, by renee

i just finished the book last night and i wanted desperately to find just one redeeming quality in this young lady. unfortunately, there was none. she is a selfish, opportunistic/golddigger! from the very beginning, she knew exactly what she was doing. she chose the lazy way out in life by letting wealthy men take care of her. she was nothing more than a paid whore. she stayed with these men abuse and all; just for the material pleasures that she enjoyed. she degraded herself to the point where she was "passed" around by men and made to "service" them anytime and anywhere. i was totally disgusted by her and she is still profitting off of her scandalous behavior. she is currently in a relationship with yet another high-profile entertainer - bill maher. she is with him for the status he brings to the table. when that relationship ends; she'll move onto the next person of status. let's face it, she has no talent or skills (legal that is) that she could make a six-figure salary with. and what about the son she loves so much?? not so much as a paragraph on him in the ending chapter! she deserved all of the bad treatment that she received by the rap/r&b artists because she put herself out there to be abused.

Comment #57, by Raquel

I think that Papa is Russell Simmons, LL Cool J or Method man. I'm not sure which one but I think we'll all know very soon. I'm not sure that it is true but I read on another website that she will reveal who "Papa" is when her paperback comes out. When I really think about it, I think "Papa" is Russell Simmons because when she started talking about "papa" she always talked about Def Jam this and Def Jam that. Plus, I do know that he is known for cheating on his wife (Kimora Lee Simmons) in the past. I can't help but wonder if all of the celebrities that she mentioned in the book knew that their dirty laundry would be aired. I don't think she should have done that because if they didn't know then she could get sued. I also wonder if Shaq was married when he was with Karrine. If so, I hope his wife doesn't hear anything about the book and get curious enough to read it. And poor Ray J. He got his little heart broken all because he was oblivious to the fact that she IS a slut-whore. In my opinion, she is a VERY WEAK PERSON who doesn't know how to do anything else but be a slut-whore. I haven't finished reading the book yet, I have about two more chapters left. But while reading this book I realize how blessed I am to have a normal childhood and a good head on my shoulders as well as self-respect. In the beginning of the book she said that there was alot of things that she left out to protect the people she loved and to save them the embarrasment. Well it's too late for that now isn't it. I get so disgusted just thinking of how the REAL story goes since she so-called left out stuff. She probably left out the simple fact that really got an STD instead of the high blood alcohol level she had which was the so-called result of her buring sensation while she was peeing. And I'd hate to think what Beyonce thought about what she said her and Jay-Z did. I wonder if her told her before the simple fact or after the book was published and he soon then realized "Oh Shit".

Comment #58, by keisha

I have read every posted comment and I agree with a lot of them. People who suggest the author should keep "doing her thing" should be ashamed. She does not need to keep doing her thing; she needs to find something else to do. I feel sorriest for her son. No boy wants to know their mom was a whore even if the "johns" were famous. What she had with Kool G was not a marriage; they lived together and had an illegitimate baby. Rape is horrible (I know this personally), but it is not a reason to fail to take responsibility for the direction of your life. Money is not what makes people happy and she never learned this. Papa is a way to keep readers interested in the author and buy what ever else she so called writes in hopes of finding out his identity. I did not see the lesson for young girls in her book. The real lesson would be to change her life and let others observe the changes. I hate most that she talks about God in her book. Nothing in her life was godly and any fortunate things that happened to her had nothing to do with God. Why did she not return to the love of her grandmother? In the middle of an abusive relationship she had the clarity to get breast augmentation. Chuck her so called "cousin" was the worst enabler, setting her up with different people. Oprah always says you teach people how to treat you and that is exactly what she did, so I am not mad at the men for using her because she taught them to treat her that way. Even with this so called best seller she will have money, but she has yet to find happiness.

Comment #59, by In Recovery

As a recovering addict that has not been molested and has come from a good home, I know how drugs enable bad decisions and bad behaviors. I know the terrible things that people do while under the influence. I can only imagine what I would have done if my drug abuse had been compounded by physical and sexual abuse and poverty and neglect. It is easy to say what "I would have done if I were her", but the truth is we are not.

What is really sad is that Karrine is being attacked for being human. I for one enjoyed the book, but look at it as a form of entertainment, like the R rated movies we watch and erotica(Zane)that we read, and not as a self help book. Hell, I don't read a self help book and expect it to change my life, so why would I read an autobiography and expect it to.

It takes much insight and sound judgement to be able to read a book and apply what you have read to your life in such a way as to "turn yourself around" or prevent mistakes. I say this to say wake up. No one will read this book and become a hoe or stripper or "superhead" if they had no prior inclination.

Want to stop people like Karrine from telling their story and making money? Then stop listening to hip hop, and watching her peers "drop it like it's hot" while you dance to their infectious beats at the clubs on saturday night. At this her book has given us stimulating conversation than 106 and Park.

Comment #60, by EBONY

I read the book in a day,it was in deed a very interesting book.I don't think she was trying to get any pity.Or come across as a professional writer she was just telling her story.When you don't get help for things that need help this is what happens.Never having a strong proper upbringing she choose the path she choose.She basically raised herself. Not ever knowing the value of herself or love this is the result.It is not my place or any one else's to judge her I can only judge the book. Afterall these men gave her this amunition.While everyone is fussing about this book, everyone needs to fuss a bit more about the people and things that glorify these things to take place.Nobody is perfect I will take someone else's advice &pray for her & all of the other women that will fall victim the same way she did.I hope people will try to change the future of video& black culture

Comment #61, by VANNESSA

PERSONALLY I THINK THE GIRL IS CRAZY.SHE ISNT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS SLEPT WITH CELEBS.IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH TO SPREAD UR LEGS BEING KNOWN AS SUPAHEAD IS DEMEANING AND SHE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF.

Comment #62, by Damon

I think that what Karrine has done is to give the entire black community a gift. I think that we hide from the truth because sometimes its almost too ugly to bear, and think it will go away; probably because it has been done to us by white america(see Hurricane Katrina). Before we can truly change and grow for the better we need to know who we are; an action plan for change starts with an analysis of where you are; then you must come up with a clear picture of where you want to be. When she talks about more recent mistakes she has made, I think that we all have to realize that just because you finally recognize behavior as self destructive doesn't mean you can conquer it over night. Think about how many of us suffer from obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes. Even though we know that its bad for us is it really that easy to turn away from the foods we grew up eating? Also those of you that say rappers are horrible for cheating on their wives really have to take a more honest look at our culture. I do not think that cheating is anything new or limited to rappers (see MLK Jr., Jesse Jackson, Vernon Jones, etc.) We have ALOT of issues that we constatntly sweep under the rug. They can only get worse if we continue to do so. I think Tayari made a very astute comparison to a slave narrative. There are so many things we have hidden even from ourselves about our sexuality. Especially all this down low crap; which is why black women are the leading new cases of HIV infection not looking at it honestly, and without judgement will only continue to hurt us in my humble opinion.

Comment #63, by Sir Knows Alot

I think Papa is either Treach from Naughty by Nature (also b/c of the 2001 timeline)

OR

Eric Benet

"Halle and Eric married in 2001 and their relationship was plagued with troubles. Just a year into the marriage, Eric confessed he had slept with 10 other women and was a sex addict."

Also Eric is from Milwaukee!

Comment #64, by Scrappy

Something to think about - Karrine was quoted as saying, "Everything has its own time and space. And there are some people that I mention in Confessions, and some that I still didn’t." -

Obviously, that time and space is for another book. If she is so eager to get the word out to young girls, why did she choose certain celebrity names over others to reveal...in an interview, she said - "There are some people who are very powerful who I will never name, because I want to be able to work in this town when I’m done. That’s why it’s easy to give you thruway names like Jay-Z. I’m not in the music business. I don’t work for Def Jam."

So, if you're trying to get a point across, what difference does it make who you reveal? No...this is not someone who is trying to help others...she's running a game - hustling.

Karrine makes a valid point about the horror of the sexual exploitation of girls/women in the entertainment industry, but she's not the one who should be telling it...

It needs to come from someone who truly had an experience in their aspirations to make it in the entertainment industry while exploiting themselves to get there...

not someone who deliberately sought after celebrities...and was quoted as saying that she kept journals of every sexual experience she ever encountered.

Also, if read her bio - she says she had a bad upbringing; however it also states that Karrine became known within the community where she grew up, for her poems and plays, which she wrote and also performed in front of large crowds, including her schools and political diginitaries...Does this not sound like someone on a pathway to success?

Read it - http://www.karrine.com/home.html She might want to consider removing those nude photos from her website, while she's trying to reach out to other young girls.

Comment #65, by JustaGuest

Just a guest
Upon reading the blog and posted comments, I came across this post. It particularly stood out. By far is the the most interesting response. There is a meaning for everything. This is what we are here for...to help and lead the innocent and the weak. My heart goes out to this child, for she is the present and the future....Karrine is the past.
What happened and or is happening in her life, in order for her to compare herself with the author.
Queenasia...if your reading this post. Please know that your life has meaning. Pray and stay strong.
Comment #46, by Queenasia

hi my name is queenasia and iam only 14 yraes old and i picked up the book because i liked the cove but when i read the book i frlt like that same litthe girl that got raped

October 30, 2005 06:33 AM

Comment #66, by JustaGuest

Just a guest
Upon reading the blog and posted comments, I came across this post. It particularly stood out. By far is the the most interesting response. There is a meaning for everything. This is what we are here for...to help and lead the innocent and the weak. My heart goes out to this child, for she is the present and the future....Karrine is the past.
What happened and or is happening in her life, in order for her to compare herself with the author.
Queenasia...if your reading this post. Please know that your life has meaning. Pray and stay strong.
Comment #46, by Queenasia

hi my name is queenasia and iam only 14 yraes old and i picked up the book because i liked the cove but when i read the book i frlt like that same litthe girl that got raped

October 30, 2005 06:33 AM

Comment #67, by Victor

At the risk of sounding like a jealous unpublished author (see my website), I would like to say a few things about the book. Is it a surprise to anyone that video "dancers" are anything more than eye candy and legal prosititutes? They have every right to sell their bodies for explotation to the highest bidder, I truly don't begrude them that privilege. Consider that anyone young girl brought up with 10 siblings in the poorest ghetto has very few choices. Lots of horrible things may hapen to her but she always has a "choice". This author, like so many kiss and tell types , would have us believe that she was forced into this type of life. She COULD have gotten a job as a waitress, lived off of tips and scrimped and saved like many poor unattractive women are "forced" to do. It SURPRISES her that if 400 beautiful women are waiting in line to be in a video, the 32 that are chosen have to do a 'little extra' to make the grade. Now after making that choice (and the money) she wants to WARN aspiring video vixens of the dangers. She recently appeared on the televison show of Suze Orman, a financial information guru and lamented how she went through $400 thousand in 2 months. If anyone is stupid enough to need such advice, it is unlikely that they will heed such advice. Now, she doing the same thing with the publisher, I wonder how she got 'choosen' for this publication.

Comment #68, by Kelly

My heart goes out to Karrine. Karrine is a beautiful young woman trying to find peace in a terrible situation. She continually says that writing this book has freed her, but it's obvious that this woman is dying inside, to the point that she felt the need to validate what she has done. If her mind were free, she'd have no reason to make validations for her actions and she'd have peace, which she obviously doen not have, as seen on Tyra and as heard on numerous radio talk shows. This woman put it out there, she confessed, but she cant handle all that is coming with it, she may say otherwise, but Karrine are you really at peace? I think that Karrine does have an awesome story to tell, but it won't be until she has healed totally that people will receive the intended message of her testimony. She is definitly a work in progress, but as long as she allows the world to captivate her, she will continue to go down-hill. I'm praying for her... she's crying inside... can't you tell?

Comment #69, by 2good2BTrue

The only reason she went on Suze Orman is to gain more publicity for her book. This bitch is so transparent I am surprised that Suze Orman didn't see her for what she really is, an opportunist of the worst order. She is not ashamed of it or of what she has done with her life. She went on the Orman show to act like she needed advice about where here FICO score needed to be in order to buy a home in LA. Two whole segments of her story and all she wanted to know was where here FICO score needed to be in order to buy a home? UNbelieveble! I have not read her book nor do I care to but I see that she has learned something from all of her experiences and that is how to pimp instead of being pimped. She sold her body until it was about all used up now she is selling her soul. Don't be hoodwinked into buying this thinly disgused scam. Borrow it or read it in the library or book store. Don't support a bad habit.

Comment #70, by JoeBuck

As a sex starved young AA man, let me say that I wish I could get gifts and money for having sex with young beautiful celebrity women. I probably wouldn't even get 50cents for my efforts :-(

From this woman's story (and her feature on some money show on CNBC), I can tell that is is and prefers to be a high classes escort or prostitute. That is an option not available to men and shows the great inequitable divide between men and women when it comes to sexuality and the power of desire.

Equal Rights For Men!

:-)

Comment #71, by Maya

I saw Karrine Steffans interview on cnbc Saturday Dec. 3, 2005 and she is just unbelievable. Everything she talks about makes her look like she hasn't learned from her expierences. Wow shes not homeless anymore but she is still continuing some of her habits and teaching them to her son at the same time. Having every man that comes in her house give her son a $1 is ridiculous. Those are not good parenting skills. I don't care what she says but she is rasing him to be just like her- expecting something out of everyone. Now when someone comes by he probably just holds his hand out. That is wrong and it wont be long until he starts doing things for money just as she did. And now she is dating Bill Maher thats for the money too. I am going to read her book because I have to hear to whole story. Honestly it sounds like her book is teaching other women that they can do the same thing she did and just quit when the get tired. I mean it seems loike this book is a lesson about getting over or taking the easy lazy way of getting what you want rather than geting an education and working hard for it. I read the interview in the Essence magazine and she goes to talk about her grandmother being with a lot of men, her mom, her dad, and now here she is doing the same thing--come on now. Maybe views about Ms. Steffans will change once I read the book(i seriouly doubt it). She needs help.

Comment #72, by KeepitReal

No one should judge her. Yes, she made many mistakes but who hasn't? She's human. You have to look at the celebrities too. Why do women down other women, but praise men when they engage in such acts?

Comment #73, by beatrice

I think i agree with what Karrine said that if these man did not want their business outhere they should not have don't it. i think a lot of people are mad because she named names, and the society will live in teaches us to blame women and forget about the man. the men cheated on their wives, they the ones who took the vows, if they don't respect how do people expect others to respect them. another is i think we focus so much on the fact that she named names and prostituted herself that we forget everything else in the book, I agree with what tayari jones said and i can relate it to the slave narrative and being raped and molested most of the time teaches young wtih to have no self respect especialy if they have no support which obviously did not

Comment #74, by joy hurst

I personally dont think she wrote this book to help better herself mentally. She wrote it for publicity and money. I can't be mad at her though, got to give it up to her. What a great marketing scheme naming all the celebrities she slept with first in order to get the peoples attention. Now that it has come out and people are starting to attack her, she wants to play the victim again and bring up all "the other" bad stuff that happened to her. If she truly wanted help and respect she would not have went about this the way she did. She did it for revenge on those men (who were wrong)that did not care about her because she was and or still is a whore. I think she realized her time was up with what she loved to do and that she had been with so many men that she became washed up to them. She became old and out. My heart goes out to the one that will hurt the most in this,HER SON.

Comment #75, by Shauna

I did read the book. I kind of enjoyed it because although she held back a lot, she still told and it is about time someone stepped up to the plate. I think the book is for a younger mind frame. I took it as a what not to do because I am only 19. She had a hard life and once an adult it was on her but she had the courage to write about it. I snap twice for Ms.Karrine Steffans.

Comment #76, by Traci

I also have not read the book but have heard several comments from friends about it. If black men can be rappers and say all the stuff they say in their music. She can take REAL experiences and place them in a book. Whether or not this is a lifestyle she chose, its very telling about the predicament black women face in America. Black women are black and female. This makes a world of difference. She simply used unconvential ways to make money which is no different than people making music about "hos and bitches." Sometimes a woman has to do what she has to do and get it how she lives. She has a child to raise in a world in which all olds are against her.

Comment #77, by angela

I have not read the book and I don't know if I'm going to, because I AM NOT WASTING MY MONEY after reading all the comments the book is not a learning experience, or a story of success or inspiration it is only the story of a high profile hooker whom refuse to learn from her mistakes. I also saw the interview on the TYRA BANKS show and she shows no remorse naming names putting poeple out there like that it was her choice to tell her story but why name all these people imagine if their wives had no idea of these anecdotes of Karrine having sex with their husbands it's a shame. wait a minute I know, she only names all of this RAP artists, HOLLYWOOD personalities and athletes for the pure publicity and greedyness, sex sells and so does controvesy, kind of smart but not so to have made the choices she made. I may read the book if I CAN BORROW IT. The simple reason she's not geting my money is because that's all she wants she did not tell her story to show people how she learned from her mistakes she did NOT. She just found a more legitimate way to make money without an education.

Comment #78, by mrs. griff

I read the book and I loved it. As a married woman, I was shocked at her disregard for the union between a man and a woman, regardless of his bank-but, she paid for her sins eventually. There was nothing wrong with her airing HER dirrty laundry-she named names, but they did it and whether it was wrong or right, it was done-if those men are ashamed maybe they will think twice about their future actions---if I had her lifestyle and expereinces, I would have sold my story too!! she deserves it after all she has bee through---AND "PAPA" (SHE CLAIMS THERE IS A BIG CLUE IN THE BOOK) BUT IT IS NOT METHOD MAN(HE HAS NEVER BEEN MARRIED) LL WAS MARRIED IN 1995, NOT 2001, RUSSELL SIMMONS WAS MARRIED IN 1998, AND SORRY BUT TREACH WAS MARRIED IN 1999, DIVORCED IN 2001.

Comment #79, by Nikki

I haven't read the entire book, but I have read excerpts and I have to say that at some point, it was just her choice to lay down.

I have met many people who were molested and abused multiple, times by family members by the time they were as young as 8 and somehow, they never did the things she did. Everyone reacts differently to stress and pain, but she seems to be continuing to use people for publicity.

She is constantly name dropping without concern for these people's families. People say, "Well if the men don't care, why should she?" but that is just wrong. I guess if she wouldn't care enough to leave her son's name and from what I heard, picture, out of her book, then why should she care about other people's children?

Comment #80, by Nicole

I haven't reaf the book. I read all the comments on this site and watched a couple of shows that she was on. I'm not here to judge her for she did. But I just want to say, by her having a child, I don't believe she should put her business out there like that. I would be devastated if I had to grow up knowing my mom did all these guys and for money. My friends know my mom was or still is a whore snd their parents judging my mom. It's not fair to the child. She should have more respect for his privacy. No matter where her and her son go, people will know who she is and people are going to do and say nasty things to her and she shouldn't want her son to go through that

Comment #81, by ST. MARTINVILLE, LA

I DON'T THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BLAME YOUR ACTIONS ON THE PROBLEMS THAT YOU ENDURED AS A CHILD, THATS JUST AN EXCUSE. AN OPPORTUNITY CAME TO YOU AND YOU WENT FOR IT. AND I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRL, BUT OF USHER KNOCKED ON MY DOOR RIGHT NOW, AND SAID LETS HAVE SEX THEN I'D DO IT AND I'D PROBABLY DO IT FOR FREE. THATS JUST THE WAY SOCIETY IS. I HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK YET, BUT I WILL BE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ARE KNOCKING YOU AND SAYING THAT THERE NOT BUYING YOU BOOK, BECAUSE THERE NOT CONTRIBUTING TO YOUR HABITS. KARRINE I DON'T ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO LIVE YOUR LIFESTYLE BUT I WON'T HATE ON YOU EITHER. R KELLY WAS ACCUSED OF BEING WITH UNDERAGED GIRLS,AND URINATING ON THEM, BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP ANYBODY FROM BUYING HIS CDS OR WATCHING HIS VIDEOS. AS A WOMAN KARRINE SHOULD HAVE HAD MORE REPSECT FOR HER BODY. SEX IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE SHARED BETWEEN PEOPLE THAT LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY, NOT BETWEEN ANYONE WHO IS WILLING TO PAY FOR IT. KARRINE I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LOOK WITH YOUR BOOKS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR STORY IS THE TRUTH OR NOT, BUT HEY WHATEVER SELLS. LATER

Comment #82, by Toya

Endured experiences are no reasons for degrading one's self as a women, whether it be physical abuse or any other form of abuse. I, myself was physically abused as a child and that never forced me to be sexually vulnerable nor lessen the value of women. Although times are changing very frequently we women still have to do everything 10 times better than our male counter parts and women like Karrine set us back when they brag and boast of their sexual conquest with married men among others.

Comment #83, by damien

She is a disgusting piece of person, and gives shame to African American women, and betrays so many that have really made good from their misfortunes, like Oprah for one. To lionize this piece of shit is really a waste of all of our time, but felt after reading these posts had to say something. The girl is transparent and is an opportunist with a BIG O. And now Bill Maher wants to marry her. My whole opinion of him has reallyl dropped after hearing that bit of gossip.

Comment #84, by Nicole

I think she makes excuses for herself. I read her book and heard a few of her interviews on radio stations and all she does is make excuses for her self. She's a disgrace to Black woman. She can't be respected!!

Comment #85, by lulu

Before i read the book i was thinking okay what does this ho have say...we know they f# these rappers anyway.Once i got into the book, which is very hooking mind you,i began to understand where she was coming from.She clearly had a terrible start without any role model,nobody to guide her and keep her head straight..basically no parental figure.because of that plus the mishaps(rape)it was easier for her to go astray.I'm not excusing her actions but i understand how she got caught up in all of that.What amazes me is how she couldn't get herself out of these situations and lifestyle in time thus neglecting her son whom she so dedicates the book to.anyhow i'm in no position to judge her,we all have our good and bad.I simply applaud her for writing this book..never mind her motives behind her reasons:It's a hell of an interesting book not to mention a NY times best seller.It makes one think twice about these so called stars that we look up to and dream of one day meeting.I for one believe her story and thank her for exposing these low down dirty entertainers.On a more serious note given what really happens behind the scenes of the rich and famous i strongly believe there's a lot more celebs than Magic who have HIV...he's just the only one talking..somebody's gotta get burned from all that promiscuity.When all is said and done Karrine is only human and there is no set routine as to how life should be lead,that's what makes us all so different.further more god has a plan for all of us and i only wish this girl the best..she should keep going to church and repent.

Comment #86, by keisha

PAPA...there has been a lot of speculation as to who this papa character may be.Many think it's LL while many believe it's Mr Meth.Somebody out there knows, just come out with it and tell us.personally i think its gotta be LL.all the clues seem to lead his way.It had to be someone from the east coast,someone who was already big in the early 90s.When you think about it would she at age 13 run to the tv just to catch Meth on MTV/BET and go on to tape his appearances?I highly doubt it.Meth had them funky ass teeth back then.Now i don't know about the squinty eyes.It has to be a well respected man that most women desired.that can only be LL.Think about it he's part hollywood part hip hop..gotta respect that plus he was one of the first to do the cross over thing.Another clue is they met on a video set..mmm..that could only be the fatty girl video.Keep in mind Meth and her also appeared in R.kell's 'feelin on your booty' video.However i still lean more towards LL.She used the 2001 marriage&music exec clue to have us all going crazy itching our brains out.I find it hard to imagine LL poppin pills though..it's more natural for the ever so high Meth...and why did he flip so much on that hot 97 interview mmm?Waht do yall think..cos i'm abit confused. As for P.diddy and Jay and them they just nasty not to mention disrespectful..wonder how beyonce feels?As for Ma Barker..she's just a dumb bitch tryna keep a dumb nigga.

Comment #87, by banana puddin

I just finished the book, and I really enjoyed it. True she put a lot of people out there, but that was risk they took when they slept with her. There are many hustles out there, she chose sex, wrote about it and now she's rich. Think about all the women who are sleeping around for free! At least she did it and now she's paid, she could care less what ya'll say "she's rich bitch"!!!!!

Comment #88, by tamara

I have just read the book and, I will have to say she really has problems. With all that she has been through in her life, you think she would be smart enough to seek professional help.I felt so sorry for her reading the first couple of chapters then....I mean, she was a whore and proud of it. She had no respect for herself and I hate the way she acted as though what she was doing was for her son. She was used, abused and, still on that same path. pray for her!

Comment #89, by Geneva

Kook G Rap is Papa

Comment #90, by Sonja

I read the book shortly after it hit the bookstores and I must say that it was a quick read. I, like others, read it in one day. It was interesting because of the people that she came in contact with and what she did to continue to network. She sold herself out and did it in the name of "her son." WHATEVER. Work at Wal-Mart. Keep your body clean and wise. Make your son proud of a honest living and not an physically and mentally unhealthy one. Anyone who wants to read it, go for it. I suggest that you buy it so that she can make money without selling herself out.

Comment #91, by shanny

I heard she's even trying to sue Mr Marcus for re-distributing their sex tape. So she brags about being a whore and then gets mad when her skills are out on tape? I don't get it. I read Steffans book and thought it was a way to make extra money on the side and it reeked with revenge over the guys she thought "loved" her. Karrine has some serious self-esteem issues. All she does is make excuse after excuse as to why she is a whore. I know she was raped and that's tragic, but instead of making a bad situation better she chose to exploit herself. It almost seems as if she is justifying her actions by it and isn't taking any responsibility for her ways. It wasn't right for those men to cheat on their wives with her, but who was she to expose them to their families like that? That's just wrong. I just pray she gets help before she winds up killing herself. And God help her poor son.

Comment #92, by Tonya T

I say big ups to Karrine who wouldn't want to sleep with some of the hottest celebrity's ,plus get paid for it people stop hating.I say girl do your thing.

Comment #93, by Monica

First off, I randomly came across this web page after looking for articles about her book and I have to say that I am not suprised with the responses that I have read on this site in regards to her book. I have not read the book, so I still have not developed a solid opinion about her story, but I have read several articles and saw her on CNBC in a segment about her story and concern about her FICO score, which deff. seemed like promotion for her book, but I have to say that out of all of the comments, # 81 struck me the most because alot of people use their upbringing as an excuse to the choices that they make. Everyone has a choice. And I feel that alot of people, if say presented with the option of sleeping wiht Usher would not so easily turn down the opportunity. No one is immune to the circumstances of life. It is so easy to judge without walking in someone's shoes. I also find it funny that yes, R. Kelly has been accused of devient acts as well, but even I myself still listen and enjoy his music and sadly a blind eye has been turned towards him and his image. Is this because he is a man? Most likely so.. I have no idea if the author's story is exaggerated or rings false, I am sure there are some discrpancies, but there is a lesson in everything and her story (wheter it matters to you or not) means something to someone. I just hope that the book urges people to have more value for themselves.

Comment #94, by Damien

As an African American, I am disturbed by many of the comments I've read thus far. You people that blame this woman, while giving a pass to rappers for their degrading lyrics and people like R. Kelly who basically is a RAPIST.....When we don't adore, respect and love our BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEENS, they will continue to be devalued...this is a damn shame. History showed us how our women weren't valued and to watch black ass rappers do the same is stupid and shameful.

Comment #95, by Dashyning

Papa is LL Cool J for what I heard!

Comment #96, by vc

I agree with Damien. As long as women keep criticizing Karrin's life but feel sorry for the men that are exploited than you allow the degrading to continue. How could you feel sorry for a man who is out doing the same thing she is but hasn't wrote a book about it. Just cause he is a man doesn't make it acceptable on his behalf. That is our problem with black women these days. We baby these men and their actions and wonder why we can't find a good one out there. How could you degrade someone who talks about their experience and sexual abuse but glorify these men just because they can hit a jump shot or call you a bitch in their lyrics. When you listen to these rap lyrics do you ever stop to think that he is applying these same lyrics to me? When you're dancing to "shake that ass hoe" do you provide this man with the same criticism that you just did this woman? I don't think so!! A lot of these women made a lot of one sided comments. Many of you need to open your eyes and stop looking at one side of the spectrum and see the whole picture for what it really is. If you are to be upset with anyone it should be the men who do not have any problems with cheating on women or exploiting them. This book is written by one who allowed men to abuse her and grew to learn the difference between abuse and love. I hope these women writing these comments don't think for one second that these famous stars could give two cents about them. They would do you just the same if they were given the opportunity so KEEP IT REAL!

Comment #97, by C.H

As someone who values both morality and his rich African-American heritage, I refuse to buy Tajari Jones novel and believe that it should be boycotted. I have read reviews and seen interviews in which Karrine Steffans attempts to promote her book under the guise of claiming that she is speaking out for all women and worse off, her son. Of the statements mention above, the fact that Tajari Jones compares the self-inflicted wounds of a prostitute to the utter hell endured by African-American female slaves is down right despicable. Malcolm X once warned that a community that forgets its heritage will be condemned to an ignorant and unfruitful lifestyle. Likewise, for us, as African-Americans, to let the author of this novel attempt to make a serious comparison between the chosen lifestyle of a prostitute and that of millions of slave women that were forced into sexual subjugation indicates that either we have forgotten our legacy of deprivation or that the struggles of many people were in vain. I am not trying to say that Steffans sexual abuse as a child did not negatively affect her adulthood. However, when you sleep with men for money, become bitter when they ignore you, and then make millions telling your story to a group of people too ignorant to see your true motives, its simply “ashame” as my grandma would put it best. In my opinion, Ms. Steffans has made a farce out of the struggles that millions of African-American women have and still endure; and to not take a stand against this kind of foolishness says a great deal about us as African-Americans.

Comment #98, by Terry

I have'nt read this Book But Was Thinking About It. the Main Reason I didn't want to read it was becasue I didn't want to read another black woman degrade herself anymore some bridges are better left burned. to me the title speaks pride of what she has done just by still proclaming the title of video vixen. to me I think she should have did a little more self cleansing and soul searching before releasing this book.

Comment #99, by asha

I STRONGLY AGREE with the correlation, Tayari, that you've made between memoirs of a video vixen and the life of a slave girl. I am surprised that this didn't strike a cord in the comments made on this book. I myself am not ashamed to read this book it just confirms to me that slavery has never ended.
I support the author because she shined a flashlight on the entertainment's industry's portrait and treatment of african women in particular. Gold diggin' harlets thats what we are and that what they want you to emmulate. I support the author because she's supporting herself and teachin too. Why shouldn't she. The men she's been with have used her in the same respect in their videos and in the bedroom.
The correlation between the two books is poignant because enslaved women were used for the same purpose except the sex was never concentual it was RAPE!
TO me Karrine is a modern day courtesean, who recieve gifts and cash in exchange for sex and companionship. And her behavior comes from the way sex was first introduced to her. She is a product of the entertainment industry.
The scary thing is that the lifestyle is so gloried and made so appealing that the youths of today are ready to join with no apologies. I Just want people to remeber that black men and women aint the head of these record companies that have a lot of artistic control over the direction some artists take. A majority of these companies are owned and headed by white males who are non -musicians that want to perputate the stereo-type and make you look inferior everytime. And slavery has taken away self-worth and self-pride. Just look to slavery for the reasons why african peoples are the mules of this earth.

Comment #100, by jelly4031

haven't read the book...but i wanted to. i remember listinening to the radio (wendy williams) and a young lady was saying that alot of young women get raped and molested and they dont end up like her and that she is just making excuses. well i can't speak for her but i can speak for myself. as we all know everyone is not the same we react differently to the same problems.....some people chose to give in and become what she has become or other try to be strong from it...she is the one that has to deal with it, and if what she's doing is helping her cope who are we to discriminate?....LEAVE THE DAMN WOMAN ALONE.....instead of coming down on her, we should be ashamed and disgusted by these men who prey on young girls...the fact that we've all acknowledge that this is happeneing more frequently is a sign that not much is being done to stop it. so instead of saying damn what she's doing is wrong she's such a ho blah blah blah...think of what she had to go through and how she has to live with this for the rest of her life. on no day in any given lifetime can sexing multiple partners be worse than being molested and raped by people who are supposed to love and care for you

i'm so ashamed at the comments that some of you have made about her choosing her lifestyle...no child ever choose to be molested/raped....as mention in a previous post not eveyone is strong enough to "do the right thing"...and no one is gettin on these married men...shame

i myself was molested by my uncle and raped by my cousins boyfriend and sad as it is if i could change the past i would not...i absolutely love who i am today and those events have caused me to be the strong person i am today...i pray that she no longer has to subject herself to that lifestyle anymore.

Comment #101, by greeneyeze

I know everyone is wondering about the porno film Superhead stars in, it is called " Mr. Marcus Cool Spot". You can find it on E-bay for $8.99 & free shipping. Just type in Karrine Steffans or Superhead. Watch her nasty unshaven pubic hair, hemorrhoids and what looks like a painful blow job she gives Mr. Marcus. See What the likes of Jay-z and countless other stars have seen and experienced.

Comment #102, by greeneyeze

I know everyone is wondering about the porno film Superhead stars in, it is called " Mr. Marcus Cool Spot". You can find it on E-bay for $8.99 & free shipping. Just type in Karrine Steffans or Superhead. Watch her nasty unshaven pubic hair, hemorrhoids and what looks like a painful blow job she gives Mr. Marcus. See what the likes of Jay-z and countless other stars have seen and experienced.

Comment #103, by PortuguezHoney

I just finished reading Confessions, and I couldn't put it better... I mean, come on, this girl uses every excuse possible for her actions, except for the fact that she's a GOLDDIGGER. What kind of mother leaves her child with a sitter for months on end. Andy why the hell would you have your son sleeping in a car while your enjoying the life of luxury? And last but not least, what the hell was she planning on getting out of putting all these people on blast. I'm sorry, she does not make the men in the book look bad, she plainly makes herself look like a whore.

Comment #104, by RT

okay, i just wasted $15 on this book, i say wasted b/c i should've borrowed it from a friend. anyway WHO IS PAPA??? that's the big question, but the real questions should be after all the name dropping, why keep his identity sacred??? is she still on and off with this one last tie to her past...? it didn't seem to me like she made any real revalation about her life, other than she wasted a lot of her younger year, lost out on seeing her son grow up, and gave herself freely and easily to ANYONE who asked her, just like the Dr Dre part-she didn't even know why she doing it?! HA yes you did, for MORE MONEY! It seems funny to me that eveyone is so upset about dropping names. To me did anyone think these men were faithful? Don't forget the old saying, were you see one rat there are 50 more you don't see!!! If the other fifty or so women these music and sport moguls have slept with come forth is the world going to be surprised? I think i would be surprised if i found anyone that was faithful to there wives in that industry! LL is NOT papa-she mentions his name in the book, unless that is the "clue"-but curled up eyelashes doesn't describe him to me.....and the fact that she was involved with the likes of Ray, Merlin, Shaq, Xzibit, Diddy....she doesn't really have a "type" seems to me the dirtier the better...bobby?!?! I hope karrin has learned a lesson, keep your legs closed unless it's what YOU want!

Comment #105, by TAICUTIEPIE

well like everyone else i also read the book but i have kind of different views on it , i say she needs to do her thing everyone in this world has only one life so do you choose to live it by what others think of you and how you should go about things or live it on your own and how you want , no matter what you do in life you will always be criticized about something, can't make everyone happy and you shouldn't . as faras her book and story go i feel like it was a kind of therapy for her in some type of way , she may have also written the book to make money , but to relive all the things she went through in the past was kind of like a therapy for her . we as black women need to stop hating on each other blaming this woman and that woman for givin us a bad name , we have been labeled since the begining of time and have spent lifetimes over lifetimes tryin to break the stereotype , and now our black men have brought the stereotype back, and actually try to glorify it and when certain women fall into the stereotype of the songs that are being heard , then they are talked bad about and misused but since the songs are hits then most believe it must be ok . since the black men call us out our name all the time that gives the ok for others to do the same its not right but it happen some of us suffer because of others but thats only if you let something like that get to you and break you down . sex is sex and sex sells we are all sexual beings but there is a double standard when it comes to men , they can do and sleep with whoever they want without being labeled but for women , she's a hoe she's a freak , and that bothers me. i hear its because men have these sexual urges more than women do , thats a man's way, to me thats bullshit , we women have sexual urges just as strong but we are taught a good girl doesn't like sex , a good girl keeps it closed and tight always , we are punished for wanting to satify our needs,and that burns me up . we, i mean all women have sold our selves in this lifetime whether it be fo money , to acquire friends , or just to belong somewhere , so much to a point that some of us don't really know who we are, so the women tha talk bad about her and put themselves on a pedestal and talk about god , think about this, in the end your judgement of her doesn't matter, its god's judgement at the end , everyones tryin to find their way out of poverty and you can't knock a person because of the path they chose, because its their path to walk alone not yours. i do feel for her son what he went through and what he will have to go through , but god will bless him , and won't give him more than he can bear . last comment as for the celebs she name dropped so what both people were part of the act and if one decides to talk oh well becareful where you create skeleton s you don't want comin out of the closet, protect yourself first and formost because you don't know what the other person is thinkin or will do .

Comment #106, by Thuli South Africa

From SA (thuli)

I just finished the book, I am not really interested at the behind the scenes stories , there is no lesson learned here, she starts off by saying that her experiences are a warning and end the books by saying that she would do it again , at some points I felt sorry, with her mother and the rape , and her marraige those where the areas I really felt sorry for her . The other abuse /experiences she had was by choice. we must learn the art of just walking away .... esp if its not good for you .
having said that the book does not insire me at all

Comment #107, by jade

i admit i actually purchased Karin's book. I wanted to read it to get a different viewpoint as someone in the same industry. i wasnt surprised to find out she had even slept with guys i was associated with in the industry. I am a model, i have done many music videos and been around some of the same people she's worked with and I am sorry to say that its because of people like her that I get pushed aside because i refuse to f#ck my way to the top. it was pretty upsetting. the reality is that models are fading out and strippers are taking our place in music videos. not that im hatin on strippers or anything, do ya thing, ma- but people like karin keep my bills from getting paid. i gotta eat too na' mean, i shouldnt have to get naked to do so.

i understand she came from a messed up background with being raped and beat up when she was with ol' dude but i dont think thats an excuse to ruin your whole life and develop a reputation like she has. its no wonder dudes use her and leave her- se allowed it to happen, in my eyes.

in addition, she doesnt seem to have learned anything at all from this mess and her son is stuck with her. last i heard, karin was doing low budget porno. i dont know how true that is though.

Comment #108, by nadin

I feel really bad about her horrible childhood and her marriage. No one should have to endure that kind of pain and torture. However I do not believe that this book shed any light on the hip hop industry. I'd hope that everyone knows that these things happen. It is up to the individual to not let this happen to them. And if this is happening to anyone, more than likely they love this lifestyle. I'm just upset at how she represented the Caribbean. She needs to stop claiming St. Thomas. At the end of the book she was asked why she was nonchalant about her sexuality. That heifer had the nerve to say in the Virgin Islands we still live by European standards. You are misrepresenting us and as a matter of a fact you left the islands when you were ten. Don't you dare blame your sorry behavior on the island. You are a whore and do not need to blame anyone else for your behavior.

Comment #109, by ResearchGirl

Just finished this book last night (I read it in 4 hours, it wasn't terribly difficult to read or even that literary to begin with) and I was completely unimpressed with this woman who claims that she has "changed" for the better as a result of becoming "older" and more "mature".

She "claims" to have reach out to God for help towards the end of the book, then why has she just starred in a porno video this year featuring herself living up to her much-hyped nickname "superhead"? And why did she trademark that name, when she earlier acknowledged in the book that it had taken on a much darker and more negative connatation, than when Ja Rule first gave it to her out of silliness and playfulness? I will give it to her though, she is very calculating and has managed to parlay her "career" beyond the expected 15 mintues of fame and is now publishing her second book with even more torrid tales, I've been told, which also include Will Smith during this round.

I believe woman can do anything they want. If they want to brag about their sexual escapades and get paid for it (men do it all the time), then why not? Just don't invoke the name of God, pretending to be saved and then continuing doing the same nasty behavior that got you where you are today. Leave God's name out of it!

Comment #110, by vgunec

I found this book at a yard sale for 75 cents. I was able to read it in 3 hours. It made me very sad. This woman speaks of her childhood and wears the pain and horror as a sort of badge, never dealing with her issues or acknowledging the bigger impact.
I found her to be totally disconnected and rather selfish, at her lowest point she needed $1000 a week just to make it!
There were many disturbing things in that book, but one of the things that bothered me most was her calm acceptance and dismissals of her sometimes downright depraved behavior.
At her lowest point she begs God to deliver her, and like Santa Claus her sends her a generous benefactor, as a women, reading this made me feel sick. This book speaks volumes about the society we live in today. Besides HPV I can see no other relevant contribution this person has made.

Comment #111, by madassedpaddy

On the "who is Papa?" debate. Ther most plausable answers to me are ll cool j and method man. She make referance to "seeing him in music videos on tv". Russel simmons the head of def jam record was the big man behind the scene but was not a big on screen performer(unlike his bro reverand run,of run dmc fame.
Another blogger made the point that ll doesn't fit the profile because he was married in 95' and the book says Papa was married in 2001. So in my opinion it was Method Man. He would have been on tv constantly when she was young and she says her favorate cassette was the Wu-tang clan which she"played till the ribbon broke". And that my friends is my two cents!

Comment #112, by majnita

personally I feel as though if you wanna sleep with hiphop sleep with hiphop.It doesnt look good but whatever floats her boat.There are other way to make it in life beside airing rappers dirty laundry,not cool snitch.Her life will never be the same.Her sons friend will know of her by supahead.The whole hiphop industry now know her as supahead.My momma always told me you cant turn a hoe into a housewife especially a longterm hoe at that.Supahead makes herself looks bad.Furthermore she aught to be ashamed to walk around hollywood with her head so far up her ass.She has no class.no style and no respect for herself. Supahead no man would ever respect you becuase there is too much hoe in you. If you loved ray so much sleeping around with tom dick and harry should not have occured.Supahead does not know love,understand love or practice love. In my book she has been officially worn-out. You made yourself look bad. Its ok though cuz it could never be me.Good luck on being famous.Peace