Tayari's Blog: Confessions Of A Video Vixen, More Thoughts

Comment #1, by danyel

thanks for this. I have the book right here, and have read bits and pieces. I wasn't hating on it, but I was ... resisting. So I'll read. Especially as I remain fascinated by the intersection of intimate sexual behavior and big business.

also: are you in ATL this week? because I will be at the Shrine on Tuesday. It would be great to meet you.

d.

Comment #2, by Anquinetta

Hey T., I hear you nd I understand where you're coming from but I dont plan to read the book. I don't watch reality tv (not even jerry springer and the judges) and I don't watch videos mostly for the same reason I won't be reading this book: I'm just not that interested in helping others expliot themselves. You're right and maybe this book is beneficial to her. It could be therapeutic; it could help her make sense of it all; it could be her own personal testimony about the plight of women in the industry--I'm still not going to read, but I'm happy that we live in a country where she was given the opportunity to write it. Thanks again for the overview and insight. Of course, now I can say "T. read it and she said . . ." ~peace, anq

Comment #3, by tayari

I agree about not wanting it help people exploit themselves. I think I was in a unique position... I came to the book not having heard ANYTHING about it. All I knew was that Pearl C. said, "Have you read that book? It's really disturbing." So I picked it up. So I was totally unaware of what seems to be a fairly sinister marketing capmpaign. (Girl, I don't have a TV, let alone CABLE, so I am out of the loop. I didn't even know who most of the so-called celebrities WERE in the book.) But, like I said on my post, I think that the subject matter is really interesting. Just that sort of high-wattage misogyny. I think the book is a survior's story even though the author doesn't even realise the scope of it. I can see it popping up on syllabi for what is now called "trauma lit." I know I keep saying it, but it reads so well next to Incidents. If I was a grad student, I think I would write on it. All this is to say that my interest in it si't so much as a tell-all, but as a documents that records some really disturbing social phenomena. I have to tell you that I think about it almost everyday....

Comment #4, by Trey

I myself wrote a little about the “Confessions of a Video Vixen” and coming across your site and reading your post I find myself needing to comment on this particular issue again. Ms. Steffans has embarrassed herself, her gender and her race. She is by far a martyr or poster child for abused women. I’ve read some excerpts and listened to numerous radio interviews (one of them posted on my site) with Ms. Steffans. She is far from a victim. Her character alone is questionable. It’s almost sacrilegious to compare any of her experiences with the black women in slavery. Our women had no choice in how they were treated. The black female slave deserves much more respect. The violence she faced personally speaking was that by choice. She decided to live the life of a harlot, which in most cases can be violent and abusive. But what she did was by choice, not to mention listening and reading some interviews that she’s had she has already discredited herself.

She actually admitted that she over exaggerated some statements about her child’s father and there relationship. Her story is meaningless and really doesn’t deserve the attention it has gotten. True a lot of people are going to want to hear the dirt, unfortunately that’s were society has gone. We should be better than that and “Stop Glorifying” Whores! We glorify this lifestyle in our movies, music and books. I really don’t care if white women (Paris Hilton) – Leave prostitution and promiscuity to white people. Supporting her is just as bad as letting our little girls wear apple bottoms, attend sideshows and appear half naked on rap videos. You referred to the “trafficking on women’s bodies”- this is the millennium, it’s time to take responsibility, something Karrine Steffans has yet to do. This book should be rejected not praised. “Memoirs of a Harlot” is a documentation (possibly an inaccurate account) of a woman who had no self control and no self respect. Let’s read about the female slaves and what they had to go through, let’s read Willie Lynch and see how the black family was destroyed, let’s put that energy into supporting and raising our children so they don’t grow up being affected by the negative hip-hop music and videos.

This was just about an individual who made poor life choices and she shouldn’t be reward for that, nor should we feel sorry for her.

Comment #5, by tayari

Hi There,
Good Morning. I hope that you are having a nice summer.

You have a bit more information than I do, as I don't have a television so I don't really have access to the media in the way that most people do.

I completely understand your point that her experiences are different than enslaved women. I agree with that completely. My point is a little bit different than you've interpreted it.

In Incidents in The Life of a Slave Girl, Jacobs is addressing an audience who is sure to condemn her as a slut, a harlot, a loose woman, etc. because she has a child out of wedlock. At the time, her memoir was considered to be as trashy, filthy, slutty, etc. as Steffans's is.

I am always intrigued by the public reception of "loose" women.

Anyway, the point I want to raise about Video Vixen is that anytime a woman tells her story about rape, about prostitution, about sex work, it is good. That's another story out there.

Also, my point is that Steffans's book, gives us a look inside a CULTURE that objectifies women. Whether she is a nice person, a greedy person, a "harlot", or whatever, I think it is important that we all look at the way that OUR culture works and what that means that this sort of thing goes on.

Steffans' was the least powerful person in the exchanges she participated in. Yet she receives all the ire.

So this is my point. And even if it is "Confessions of a Harlot," I think it is important that we look at these things. I even think that it is important that we figure out why we have so much hostility toward women who are sexually promiscuous. In the book, she hurts no one but herself. So why all the outrage?

Thanks so much for responding to my blog. I will go and look for yours. All best wishes,

Tayari Jones

Comment #6, by xenia

I have been reading your posts on the "video vixen" book & several times started to comment, then decided against it. What I've been wanting to say is that the problem with books like these is that they are hyped up while the stories of other women who have been victimized as young girls and rise above their circumstances, WITHOUT going into prostitution, "video-hoing," & promiscuity. THESE are the stories I would be interested in reading. The practice of women being used as gift-baskets, commodity, etc. is nothing new under the sun and will continue as long as there is money in it & there are women who would rather exploit themselves instead of struggle like the rest of us. We live in a capitalist society where everything & everyone has a price. Let's face it, sex sells. It's all about shock value & readers are becoming bored with books in general, so "memoirs" such as these are the next best thing next to reading porn magazines or erotica. Just as television continues to push the button, so does the book industry.

Comment #7, by tayari

Hey Xenia,
I agree with you that stories like Karrin's are way too common. But I do think that it is important that people TELL THEIR STORIES and let the world know what is happening. I read Confessions of a Video Vixen and I was quite moved by her story and outraged by the events that she described. She was brutally raped and a very young age and this is something that happens to so many women. I can't get that scene out of my head. It makes me angry. It makes me want to take action.

While I think it is important that we hear stories of women who have escaped poverty and over come the legacy of abuse without prostitution, etc, I think it is also important that we have understanding and tollerance for those who are not as strong or as fortunate. Studies have shown that most women who are strippers, prostitutes, etc are survivors of sexual abuse. Karrin Steggans is no exception.

I think that Karrin Steffans is the LEAST POWERFUL person in all of the scenes she describes, yet she is the one that gets all the ire of the public.

Confessions of a Video Vixen is not nearly as steamy as people think it is. There are no explicit sex scenes or anything like that. Yes, she names names, but it's not really a sex book.

In my opinion, we know so little about the lives of women who are sex workers, prostitutes, strippers, etc. They live under a cloud of shame while the people who make money off of them live with none.

I am reminded that the movie Hustle and Flow is being widely praised. It seems that there is not much stigma at being a PIMP-- a victimizer-- which someone who is considered a "ho"-- bears so much shame and stigma although she has essentially hurt no one but herself.

So this is why I am urging people to read Confessions of a Video Vixen. I really think we need a conversation about the issues she brings up. I know a lot of people are reading this book for the "wrong" reasons-- they just want to know the celebrity gossip and who slept with who-- but despite this, there is really something that that needs to be talked about and discussed.

My best,
Tayari

Comment #8, by xenia

Hi Tayari,
Thanks for your reply.

I guess I’ve seen more than my share of stories about women like Karrin on TV. Since you say you don’t watch TV, you may have not seen the countless magazine programs like 20/20, Prime Time Live which always has some story about sex workers or video dancers or starlets trying to make it in Hollywood. There was one program not long ago about three generations of women prostitutes (white): a grandma (who became a madam which is the same thing as a pimp), a mother & daughter. They all had slept with important men, politicians, cops, etc & threatened to name names if they were prosecuted. They all told the same story: abusive childhoods, undereducated, but in the end, THEY made the decision to do the “work” they do. So I disagree that we know little about the lives of these women. They have been done to death. I guess because I’ve “watched” these women tell their stories on TV, I don’t want to read about it. At some point, women have to stop being victims & blaming men for the way they are being treated. It’s one thing if you’re an innocent child who is abused/raped by your mother's boyfriend/stepfather, or if you're a grown woman walking down the street & you are verbally abused by men standing on the corner, but it’s quite another thing if you’re writhing on stage half-naked collecting money from the sickos who are watching you.

I think Hustle & Flow is being praised because Hollywood has always had this negrophilia about anything that has to do with Black music (i.e. Ray, Five Heartbeats, etc). Think of the hundreds of movies & commercials that use Motown & contemporary R&B soundtracks. When I saw the preview at a movie theater which was predominantly white, I cringed & shook my head. Pimps are not stigmatized because this is a man’s world & it will always be.

I believe we as a country should direct our attention to the girls/children who are being abused/raped WHILE they are children, not after they grow up.

Blessings,
xenia

Comment #9, by tayari

Hi Xenia,
I just saw your book in a bookstore here in Atlanta and thought of you!

I have to concede your point as I have personally NEVER seen anything about the lives of women who do sex work. It's true that my television-less-ness may have a lot to do with it. That affects my view of things quite a bit actually. I think it also affected my view of Confessions as I had never heard of many of the "celebrities" she mentions in the book.

Nevertheless, I think Confessions is valuable as a document that shows the inner workings of a sinister world. Like i said before, it was all new to me and I was so disturbed by it.

I also agree that women as individuals have to make better choices. I agree whole heartedly. Just as I agree that black people and other minorities have to take responsibility for their actions. But, at the same time, I will continue to condemn the institutionalized systems of opressions that target specific groups.

So what I am asking for is some sort of middle ground. Is it possible for us to decry the all out MISOGYNY that makes stories like Karrin's and so many other's possible and still believe in the individual power to choose? I mean, it seems to me that there are so many such stories because there are just so many people sexually abusing young girls, so many people beating their kids... I don't think that we can just dismiss this behavior. The more I think about it, the more I see that Karrin Steffans never hurt anyone but herself. So while I do not approve of her behavior, I am not nearly as outraged as I am of the people who rape and beat children.

So, for me, this is why I find the book to be valuable. I think it is important to know the way that these things work.

But I do understand what you mean about being sick of seeing the same images. I got to a point where I didn't want to see another movie or read another article about a black man in jail. I didn't care WHAT the perspective was. I had just had ENOUGH. But then, I rested and got away from it. Now, I can see it again, because the problem of the prison industrial complex has not gone away just because I got sick of it.

I think that the same is true for the exploitation of women and girls in these sex industries. I can understand why a person would be tired of hearing about it. But then, it's time to take a breath and take our places again on the battlefield.

I am reading a manuscript written by a young woman who is about twenty-five now. She's writing about how young girls in her neighborhoos were routinely abused by older men. In her early twenties she engaged in some risky and promiscuous sexual behavior. She's writing her book because I think she wants to see it all on paper. I am reading this manuscript and it is breaking my heart. I don't know if I can tell her that her story has already been "done." You know what I mean?

Comment #10, by XENIA

Dear Tayari,

Yes, "I do know what you mean." And no, you shouldn't tell this young writer that her story has already been done, but perhaps, if she has some lesson she can pass on to the younger generation, something that doesn't sound like she's profiting from it. I think everyone has a story to tell, but as my publisher once said, some of them just aren't meant to be published, but shared with family/friends. Not to say that this writer's should not be--that is not for me to say. Maybe her particular point of view hasn't been done.

As a woman who was sexually molested as a child, I plan to someday "tell my story" (in fiction form, of course) & hopefully use it as a cautionary tale to mothers who bring men (as lovers, boyfriends, or stepdaddys) into their homes without thinking of the consequences to their daughters. To me, this is the biggest injustice of all. Because it happened to me, I made a conscious choice not to bring men around my children (especially my daughter) after my divorce (even if it meant being without a man for a while), or give them a stepfather. Thus, I overcame my childhood abuse, I didn't allow myself to be victimized by it. And I understand that there are women who just don't have the power to do so, I do. But I also believe that we are living at a time where information about child predators is much more prevalent than when I was growing up (late '60s/early '70s), where there's more help available, & women are much more empowered--or at least they're supposed to be.

In the grand scheme of things, there is much blame that should go around. The abusers themselves, the parents who don't/can't protect their children (especially from family members who abuse them), and ultimately, the victims who "choose" to continue to engage in risky behavior even when they realize that they are only hurting themselves. But again, because we live in a patriarchal society where women have long since blamed for the ills of society (i.e. Eve, ERA), WE are the ones who need to take the initiative to make changes, to protect our children, to protect ourselves.

much blessings,
X

p.s. I have a friend who lives in Atlanta, though she's in the army reserves stationed in San Antonio, but I hope to visit Atlanta again someday, when she returns home.

Comment #11, by Noni

Hello,
I read "Vixen" because I heard that it was a book about a troubled girl who was raped at an early age, abused by her mother, and basically estranged from her father. She had her sights set on the life of the demeaning, male-dominated hip hop videos. Most of them are. She made a lot of mistakes that she did blame on her past, which I thought she was old enough to have learned from. She just kept kept going back for more and more. At times she seemed more calculating and deliberate than a victim.
But, my real comment and concern is that from what I have read and heard about Steffans is that she wants to do a reality series. I think that this kind of borders on exploitation. First of all there are enough reality shows out there and all they do is create unneeded drama and instant celebrities. Everybody wants to air their dirty laundry on TV. This is just another vehichle for Steffans. If she does a reality show, she comes off as a hustler. Totally defaming what character she had. She was "trying" to preach to young girls that being a video vixen is not the way to go, so why mess that up? She also has movie deals in the making.

Noni

Comment #12, by Dee Stewart

Wonderful post. Do you mind if I use a snippet of it and quote you?

Comment #13, by Noni

Not at all. Go ahead.

Noni

Comment #14, by chris

It never ceases to amaze me how so many black women will go to the ends of the Earth trumpeting their strength and demanding equality when those things suit them and then turn around and want to blame every bad decision that they make on a man when being a victim will get them what they want.

But these same black women will rarely give a black man that same benefit. You will rarely hear a black woman say that a man abandons his child because his father abandoned him or a black man molests a girl because his father molested him or a father is emotionally detached because his parents were emotionally distant.

It seems that rule number one of feminism is that only a woman can be a victim.

I will be the first to admit that we live in a male dominated, misogynistic society, and I think that needs to change.

But if you sisters want to effect change and become true equal partners to men, you have to stop playing the helpless maiden in distress when that role suits you.

You can't have it both ways.

That sister ought to be tied down and beaten like a dog because she knows better. She is no victim; she's a conniving, opportunistic leach that would sell her body, her soul, her mind, wheatever, to get to the top, or if she can't do that, to at least sleep with a man at the top.

That's no victim in my book.

Comment #15, by tayari

She should be tied down and beaten like a dog? Sounds like slavery to me. Why the anger, why the impulse to violence?

Comment #16, by CydneyRax

Hey Tayari, I read the book. To me her experiences are disturbing and sad, but nonetheless, they are Karinne's experiences. I don't knock her for writing the book. Everyone has a story to tell. I'm a firm believer in that. Everyone's story isn't going to be happily ever after. But we still should be able to tell it, just to show folks what we've endured, how we've survived. What really disturbs me is how some of the readers abhore this young lady -- I guess because of her torrid past. But who on this earth has lived the squeaky clean life, never making mistakes, always making the right choices? That is rare...and if you've lived such a life, more power to you. I've lived a life that would cause hairs to raise on folks' necks -- and it isn't easy at all admit certain things. So, Karinne's book takes off fast, sells tons of copies, is on the NY Times Bestseller List. Who can we blame for that?? It's the pure ingredients of her story, her confessions, that have caused things - good and bad - to happen to her. That is amazing to me!

Comment #17, by catherine griffin

i read and enjoy the book. i think every women needs to read this book. a lot of women have been through this it's just not written in a book. if a lot of women were to sit down and write about their life i bet it would read very similar. i know mine would. i thought the book was great. i'm gonna be looking for her in those video's. i love video's. keep on writing, i could't put it down. took me all of 1 day thats a miracle for me. i am a busy lady. all jokes aside. i enjoyed.

Comment #18, by Ms.Love

Wow! First let me start off by saying that I have not read the book, but I do plan to do so. My comment really stems from all the anger that I hear coming across this board. I'd like to address several issues, however I don't have the time.

I would like to know, "Why is a woman telling her story of rape and abuse" considered to be exploitation? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Realize that different people deal with streses in their live's in different ways. Is is so wrong for her to tell her story? Is it so wrong to make a profit off of it? And why do you think so. If you don't care for her or her lifestyle or whatever perception you have of Ms. Steffans, then don't read her story. Why should people be so concerned as to whether this woman has learned from her experiences or not? Why all the judging?

Women and men of all nationalities have been telling their stories for years. We all have a choice to read it or not. If Ms. Steffans had bad experiences as a child and grew to be an overindulgence adult, that's still her truth, reality and her story. It should be told. The problem seems to me to be that everyone wants to sit in judgement and say what she should or should not be doing, feeling, or saying. That is all strictly her business. She is not the first woman to "kiss and tell" and she will not be the last. WE as "Black People" are so worried about other nationalities beating us down, that we beat each other down first through judgement. All of us know enough about our culture that bad things do happen to little girls meaning, A) we can and do get raped as little girls; B) we develop issues behind it whether we attempt to resolve them or not; C) we've been taught to hold it in, to hide it, to never talk about it;
D) some of our black men do contribute to the pain that we carry around in our imaginary bag (our minds).

In that same breath, some of our men experience abuse and pain as children and they too bring that baggage into their adult lives. The whole point is...It happens everyday. Ms. Steffans is a victim, she has just chosen a way to deal with it that some may not agree with. I certainly don't believe that she deserves to be tied and beaten like a dog, for telling her story. Does a rapper who raps about "B's and ho's" and whatever else he claims he has endured during his lifetime, deserve the same?

You all have to learn to let this judgement and anger go, realize that there are many things in society that are acceptable and will never change. Just relax and let it go. So what you don't like what she said or what and who she had done. Let it go. Just don't support her cause. Just don't do anything in regards to her. If you are so concerned in the "Black Person's Plight" then you just make sure that you continue to walk upright, respectable and HOLY!

Comment #19, by Valerie

Hello! I hope everyone has enjoyed their summer as it comes to an end. Last night I finally received my copy of "Confessions of a Video Vixen." I read and finished the book last night, and I have to say that I was a little disturbed after putting the book down. I wanted to read the book, not for gossip, but for clarification of what Ms. Steffans has gone through in her life, b/c we (black women) have had our fair share of abuse in the past. So, as I began reading and reading I started seeing that yes, Ms. Steffans was a victim of abuse from her rape to her abusive marriage to a former rap star. However, Ms. Steffans should understand that after being through so much, she should have wanted to steer clear of the life she led before. Instead she runs straight to prostitution, drugs, alcohol, and abusive men. There were so many times that GOD tried to steer her away from that life, and live a descent life for her child, but she CHOSE not to hear him.

After reading this book, I'm not upset with the men she "dated", but I am upset with Ms. Steffans. Number one; she has a child and she allows people to call her "superhead" and thinks that it was a cute nickname. So is she saying that it's okay for her son to hear this? Number two; When these men, and I want say any names, but people we listen to everyday, would disrespect her she would "LET THEM". She wouldn’t stand up for herself at all, as if she likes being called a hore, b****, etc... Just to get some money! Then when she really needed the money, these so call "big ballers" wouldn't give her dime. I do feel that Ms. Steffans should have told her story, but she came about it the wrong way. She should have come to the little girls of today not glorifying prostitution, but as a way of saying "little girl, you don't have to be in the video half naked to get a man to look at you, and here is my story to let you know that this is what the fast life leads too." Instead I feel she is telling them look at all the cars, jewelry, clothes I got for allowing some man to abuse my body.

I'm not being judgmental by Ms. Steffans was like a leach looking for some man to save her from her past, and not willing to work and make her own money. I'm a fair believer in “do what makes you happy, but keep it out of the streets, and that's something Ms. Steffans has NOT done.

Comment #20, by SLR from L.A.

Tayari,

I can appreciate your comments on "Confessions of A Video Vixen." Even though it's trashy novelesque I will check it out of a library or something and read it. I think we can all learn something from each other's stories. And it's about time that someone turned Hollywood on it's head and exposed the mysoginistic male rap circles for what they are.....

But all that aside...here's the important question.... You don't own a TV? What century are you living in?

Comment #21, by CydneyRax

I saw the movie Hustle & Flow and to me it was so grim in terms of the atmosphere in which the characters lived. Woo! Difficult to watch but it was their reality. I didn't hate DJay, the pimp. I wanted one of his girls to rise up and be stronger. I wanted better things for the characters, etc. but I didn't hate them for disclosing the choices they've made in life. Everybody has a life, a past, a not-so-rosy tale about something they've gone through. And sometimes folks don't learn their lesson. They can die with their face lying in the gutter, not having rose above it. Maybe this will be Karrine Steffans' fate, maybe she'll blossom into a rose a few years from now. Who knows? But she has a right to tell her story nevertheless. I heard she got megabucks for her story. That isn't anything that we as readers have any control over. Who knows why publishers pay megabucks for certain books? Some books with big advances do very well, others end up being a gross mistake. I guess they wanted to take that risk. And plus Karrine will have a 2nd book -- I think she enjoys the attention she's getting. Maybe no one has paid any real attention to her before the way they have sense her book was released. So many questions, so little answers. :)

Comment #22, by Lady

I just wanted to comment. I read the book and i have heard all the drama that has been going on behind the book. Alot of people are focusing solely on the sexual encounters that she has had with half of the hip hop industry. The book is solely about her life experiences. I don't see why alot of people are hating. I am going to keep it real. Nobody can judge this female. If everyone was to write a book of thier life and half of the sexual encounters that they have had, would they consider themselves a ho. She speaks on it and is referred to as a video ho. Females need to keep it real, some of us are doing the same shit, it is just not with the hip hop industry. Everyone is human. Stop hating on this girl.

Comment #23, by ANTHONY

I was truly touched by this womans experiences throughout life. There are a lot of women out there going through the same thing. It's a shame that some men feel the need to demean a woman just to satisfy themselves. I commend her on telling her story b/c it needed to be told. People out there casting judgement, should look in the mirror and focus on the things they've done, or are doing. It also goes to show you that society will always have a double standard. Wasn't it Wilt Chamberlain who slept with several woment and society,particularily men, gave him HIGH-FIVES...get real. This was her release and I am glad she is doing better-God Bless.
Anthony

Comment #24, by Nicole

I read the book and I agree with the majority of the comments. She made those choices on her own. I have been offered the same thing by some of the same men in her book but I had enough self respect to say no. I chose my dignity instead of easy money. I to am a young mother and I will never exploit myself just to be in the in crowd. She should have realized that none of those guys had any respect for her because she had no respect for herself. There is always a better way to make it in the entertainment industry and you don't have to be a WHORE to do it. I am glad she woke up and she is making better choices now. I wish her the best and hope she continues to think about her son.

Comment #25, by CydneyRax

Woo wee, LadyLee. I loved your post. Your words are HOT!! :)

Comment #26, by princess

this book is proof that the love of money is the root of all evil but the answer to all things. all i can say about the book is how, what, why, who, and stop, please! some serious detox, psycho help, the Lord Jesus, and prayer is available.

why some folk would think God is all right with their mess is the question. what about the families or children effected by their doings? seems a vicious life-cycle kept turnin instead of helpin. why use real names and hurt innocent people like that?

more than that folk are makin real saints mad! everyone will go to heaven but will they enter in? read the scriptures people.

i pray that folk stop playin and come into the knowledge of knowin who God truly is, 4 real. whatever happened to church midwives who helped the young people.

Comment #27, by Creolbreed

I havent purchased the book yet. I heard about the book from a family member who told me about the video vixen superhead. I then looked up the information about the book on the internet and I have to say that her story is a story that has been going on for a long long time. Steffans was just brave enough to go throgh all that but had a plan out. The book idea is really smart I have to give her props on that, and if she is trying to come up then more power to her. I have seen for myself what prostitutes and groupes go throgh I never choose that life style for myself but I do know people who live it and no one deserves to be treated like that, but if that is all you know and you dont know a way out but to do what you have to do to come up than you cant blame her for the route she took. This was all she knew until she found God and found a way to come up. All the pain she went through as a child and as a video vixen has in her mind paid off she has found a way out and I hate to say it a lot of women dont.

Comment #28, by Tjgriffin

Why not become an AIDS ACTIVIST, Karrine Steffans...give back to the community!!! Our black people are dying by the 1,000.

Comment #29, by terrell

Hello all

I am a 40 year old african american male, I also read the book, I have read some of the comments listed here several times before decideding to write my own message, I am sad to say it hurts my heart to hear other sistahs dogging this sistah so badly. I think we all can take a look back at our lives and at least think on one or more things that we have done that we will take to our grave with us that we are not proud of. This young lady has brought light to a industry that on one hand we as african americans are saying it needs to be cleaned up, and on the other hand throwing stones at someone who has brought light to the situation. Please keep in mind what this young lady has done she will truly have to answer for when she stands before god. But who is really in a position to judge her and the choices that she made. Becuase what I read was someone trying to survive, no she did not make the right choices to survive, but given her upbringing and her relationship with her mother it is not hard to understand the choices she made.

I am originally from chicago and gave partys with a group of other brotha's and from time to time we would have rappers come to our parties and perform and the party would carry over to a hotel room or someones home, as I read the book last night I actually reflected back to when i was apart of the lifestyle she spoke of things I could relate to because for a time in my life I was apart of that lifestyle, and just as she said, it in it's self is a drug.

It is being said she made bad choices, what about the men named in the book they also had a choice, and coming from a man's point of view it was not the right one.

They being young african american men also have a repsonsibility as being seen and heard by millions of young people. I salute this young woman for shining a light on this part of the industry it needs to be exposed.

Now if she did it for the money again she will most definitely pay the price for that.

I think there needs to be more focus on what goes on behind closed doors after the fans have left the concert and went home, this young lady was a young confused young woman, who was exploited and used like a wet rag and then thrown away.

you may read this and say what is wrong with this man, she brought all of that on herself, look at it this way how would you feel if it was your sister, your cousin, your best friend, how would you want people to feel if it was you yourself.

Everyone have a wonderful day.

Comment #30, by relisa

Ms T.
I have been reading some of the interviews she gave and it really makes her looked bad!But in a man made society I dont expect much. I dont agree or disagree with what she did BUT it is how she did it. I hope this woman understands that her life will no longer be normal after that. And she might be forever blacklisted in many ways. I will say this much being abused it does mess with your whole self. You look at nothing with innocence afterwards doomed never to be the same.

Comment #31, by asha

I STRONGLY AGREE with the correlation, Tayari, that you've made between memoirs of a video vixen and the life of a slave girl. I am surprised that this didn't strike a cord in the comments made on this book. I myself am not ashamed to read this book it just confirms to me that slavery has never ended.
I support the author because she shined a flashlight on the entertainment's industry's portrait and treatment of african women in particular. Gold diggin' harlets thats what we are and that what they want you to emmulate. I support the author because she's supporting herself and teachin too. Why shouldn't she. The men she's been with have used her in the same respect in their videos and in the bedroom.
The correlation between the two books is poignant because enslaved women were used for the same purpose except the sex was never concentual it was RAPE!
TO me Karrine is a modern day courtesean, who recieve gifts and cash in exchange for sex and companionship. And her behavior comes from the way sex was first introduced to her. She is a product of the entertainment industry.
The scary thing is that the lifestyle is so gloried and made so appealing that the youths of today are ready to join with no apologies. I Just want people to remeber that black men and women aint the head of these record companies that have a lot of artistic control over the direction some artists take. A majority of these companies are owned and headed by white males who are non -musicians that want to perputate the stereo-type and make you look inferior everytime. And slavery has taken away self-worth and self-pride. Just look to slavery for the reasons why african peoples are the mules of this earth.