Tayari's Blog: Mothers & Daughters

Posted by TayariJones on January 22, 2006 10:14 AM
Filed under Bookshelf

Deborah Tannen has an important new book,You're Wearing That? Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, and it's about the ways that mothers and daughters communicate. If you have ever read my work, you know that mother-daughter friction is always on my mind. Read Ms. Tannen's essay "Oh Mom, Oh Honey," in the Washington Post. It's so good! Here's an excerpt:

Because a mother's opinion matters so much, she has enormous power. Her smallest comment -- or no comment at all, just a look -- can fill a daughter with hurt and consequently anger. But this I learned: Mothers, who have spent decades watching out for their children, often persist in commenting because they can't get their adult children to do what is (they believe) obviously right. Where the daughter sees power, the mother feels powerless. Daughters and mothers, I found, both overestimate the other's power -- and underestimate their own.

I am going to buy this book RIGHT AWAY. Because, as every woman knows: No one loves you more, or makes you feel worse than your very own mother. Let the healing begin.

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