Tayari's Blog: Jelani Cobb on Rio

1. Why did you write this article?

The short answer is because I'm a writer and this is a story. The
longer answer is because it is an issue that really needed to be
discussed and one of my goals as a writer is to start important
conversations. There's an old saying that the only problem that some
black had with slavery was the fact that we were the slaves. It was
profound to me that the hard-fought gains of the past half century
have empowered a certain set of black men to travel to South America
and behave in ways once associated with white men alone. To me the
issue raised a question of what we were and are struggling for. Was it
solely to get a foot in the door so that we could replicate the worst
behaviors of American society ourselves? Are we so wrapped up in our
own issues with America that we are incapable of seeing the severe
problems that confront other people of color in other parts of world?

2. Your article has made the problems between black men and women worse

James Baldwin said that not everything that can be faced can be
solved, but nothing can be solved until it is faced. I found this
particular critique fascinating -- as if a problem would not exist if
we didn't speak about it. I am of the belief that truth is an
antiseptic. It stings; it burns, but in the end it makes us better. It
was in that hope that I wrote the article.

3. Where can I go in Brazil to experience the things you wrote about
in the article?

Yes, I actually did get this question. My heartfelt honest response:
Get real. You have to be kidding me. Please tell me you are not so
desperate that you're sending email to a writer whom you've never met
asking him where you can go to get some.

4. What can black women in America do to keep their men from going to
Brazil/How can we compete with these women in South America?

Yes, I got that question too. And the short answer is nothing. As I
stated in the article, this is not entirely about sex. I'm not even
convinced it's mainly about sex. This is about affirmation and
deference that men get and choose not to examine for what it is: good
customer relations, no more, no less. I'm not a relationship expert,
but I don't think it's realistic for people in actual relationships to
attempt to compete with something that is essentially a made-to-order
fantasy. Moreover, do you really want to be with someone who requires
you to compete with prostitutes for their attention?

5. You let black men off the hook in terms of challenging the ways
that they negatively describe black women

This was interesting also. Lots of women (my mother included) felt
that I should have explicitly condemned the men who were speaking ill
of the sisters back home. Let me go on the record and say that I was
generally disturbed by what I saw and heard in Rio. There were dozens
of black men explaining that they travel to the city and seek out
women there because they are so poorly treated by black women in
America. I had a hard time hearing this because on of my primary
concerns in life is the well-being of the black community, however it
is that we define that term. I also found it difficult to believe that
all these men were having a hard time meeting black women at home and
suspected that it was a self-serving justification for their behavior.
At the same time I had to balance the fact that I was writing a
feature, not an editorial or a column, which is why I take a definite
stand but attempted to express it somewhat subtly within the piece. At
the very end, I talk explicitly about the ways in which brothers from
the states in Rio are being complicit in a system that feeds on the
exploitation of women in the third world.

6. You came down too hard on black men considering all they have to
deal with in this society

See answer #1. Also, I find it impossible to believe that after two
centuries of struggle our only recourse is to fly ten hours to a
foreign country and pay a woman for sex. I know as well as anyone else
what we confront in this society. I also know that black people in
Brazil are struggling against even greater obstacles than we are here.
Our own condition in America does not justify turning a blind eye to
that reality.

7. You sold out by letting women in on what was going on/You must be gay.

Um... okay. But is that really where you want to draw your line in
terms of allegiance? The last two articles I wrote for Essence dealt
with the disproportionate incarceration of black youth for offenses
that white youth are frequently given probation for and the murder of
two young brothers I knew (age 22 and 25.) I am willing to bet that
you did not send any outraged emails to your local representatives,
state senators, congressional representative or the White House
regarding this catastrophic situation. Yet a piece that talks about
the biggest open secret in black America has you up in arms. As for
the illogical assumption that the article somehow indicates that the
writer is gay -- are you equating heterosexuality with having to pay
for it? That may be the case for you (and if so, you have my
condolences) but I don't have that particular problem.

8. You make it seem as if all Brazilian women are prostitutes and only
black American men are guilty of sex tourism there

The article was about sex tourism in Brazil -- not Brazil at large.
There are tons of things to discuss about that beautiful and historic
country; unfortunately culture and history are not the reasons that so
many black men have started going to Rio in the past 3-5 years. If I
wrote an article about carjackers in Atlanta one would not assume that
it meant that all Atlantans are carjackers. The women i wrote about in
the article were part of the sex trade; but nowhere do I argue or
imply that they are the majority of the women in the city. Also, I
made reference early in the article to the fact that black men are far
from the only men involved in this activity. The angle of the article
is that there has been an explosion in terms of the numbers of black
men and that change is worthy of investigation.

If you still have questions or comments, feel free to email me. I
can't however guarantee that I'll get the time to reply, but I'll give
it my best shot.

Jelani C.

(WJC has given me permisson to post here, although it is also posted on his website. Also, there will be a public forum on the subject at Spelman College on September 14.)