Tayari's Blog: To Grow, To Change, and To Love
Posted by TayariJones on May 29, 2008 09:37 AM
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Guest Bloggers
by Reginald Dwayne Betts
Now that I have a baby boy, every day is the start of a story. It's something about a smile, a laugh, or the way Micah will try to summersault from my arms to the waiting floor. He's six months old 
and thinks everything he can grab a hold of is food. The remote control, my poems, socks, receipts, pacifiers and teething rings all fit the same category. My arm, shirt, face and car keys do too. He'll reach from the couch, stretching out his arms unaware of the damage that fall to the floor can do. He smiles when he reaches out. In seconds he goes from smiling beside me, to stretching toward the floor, body tilting. I’m good at intercepting him before he reaches the floor. My improved reflexes are one of parenthood’s true gifts.
Now, my eyes are always open, even when I’m working and I work a lot these days. In addition to being in school, I’m working hard on my memoir, A Question of Freedom. The book contract was a godsend, coming just about the same time Terese and I found out that Micah was on the way. The finished manuscript is due in just a few weeks, and although I’m starting to see daylight, I still have a ways to go.
Yesterday, I was working on the memoir, struggling through a difficult passage with my laptop on my lap, the flash drive sticking out. As engrossed as I was in my own memories, a shout from my fiancé pulled me from my written past to my living breathing present. I jumped, not caring that my laptop fell to the floor; I sprang with my arms out, ready to catch my little boy.
When I looked down, my son was looking up, smiling, a sock in his hand. Terese was holding him, smiling too. A beautiful false alarm. My laptop was beside me. I examined it and it seemed to be working. I breathed easy. How could I afford another computer right now? Then, I noticed the flash drive containing all my hard work. The silver piece of the flash drive that sticks into the USB port was still in the computer. The other part, the important part, with all the data is stuck between cushions of the couch.
The next day, the Geek Squad will try for thirty minutes to get the flash drive to talk to my computer again and show us all the words I typed over the last year. In the end they tell me it's close to hopeless. For days I fiddled with the two parts, once getting them to stay together long enough to slide into my laptop only to get the 
message: Device not recognized. In the end I called Sandisk. I took a picture of the flash drive, a close up with the two parts side by side, but not touching and emailed it to them. They too, told me the flash drive was through and said I could contact LC Technology International for possible data retrieval.
I waited six days for news. Told myself I could rewrite the book and then told myself I couldn't write another word without the words that are missing. I stared at the screen for a while too. Asked it how does a back-up fail? For six days I listened to everyone's advice. You know, you can send all your files to gmail. It's like a free flash drive. You only had one back-up? You need a back-up for your back-up. I listened, then stopped listening and just waited.
The only person who didn’t have an opinion was my little boy, Micah. He still sat on the sofa, leaning at dangerous angles, confident that his mommy or daddy would save him from the floor. He still tries to put everything in his mouth. I still don’t let him. It’s a game we play. In the six days that I waited for the news about my flash 
drive, Micah continued to grow, to change, and to love. He can sit up by himself now, too.
Finally, I got a call from the repairman. The day after Memorial Day. He'd gotten the data off. I told my son everything was okay now. He looked up from chewing on his sock and laughed.
What if the repairman hadn’t been able to recover the manuscript, the words recording the difficult chapters of my life? I’d still have Micah’s laugh. I’d still have Terese. Then, I had to laugh at myself. I’d told Micah that everything was okay now, but with his clear-eyed giggle, he was letting me know that everything has always been okay. And for this, I am grateful.
Photo gallery of Dwayne, Terese, and Micah!
![[divider]](http://www.tayarijones.com/images/divider.jpg)
There are 2 comments on "To Grow, To Change, and To Love". If you'd like to leave a comment, click here to jump down to the comments entry form.
Comment #1, by Tayari Jones ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tayarijones.com/blog/nav-commenters.gif)
This is from Renee Simms
Awwww Dwayne what a gorgeous family you have! I seriously can't wait to read your memoir. Show them how it's done.
May 29, 2008 04:55 PM
Comment #2, by Judy
I can hardly wait for the memoir! And what a beautiful family. Micah is a lucky little boy.
May 29, 2008 06:00 PM