Tayari's Blog: How To Crash a Ball: A Primer

Posted by TayariJones on January 21, 2009 08:31 AM
Filed under D.C. Diaries

Disclaimer: Tayari Jones is not suggesting that she has ever attended any event to which she has not purchased a ticket. She is a writer and this is merely a work of imagination.

A lot of people were wheeling and dealing to get tickets to various inaugural balls. Well, as we start planning for inauguration 2013, I would like to present this handy five point guide for getting into events to which you have not been explicitly invited. In other words this is what you do when don't exactly have your ticket situation sorted out.

  • Know Somebody. You’ll be way more successful in getting into a ball if you know someone on the inside who will be willing to vouch for you once you make it past the monitors.

  • Crashers Can’t Be Choosers. To successfully crash an inaugural ball, you need to laid back about which ball you go to. I’d say give yourself a list of three places you’d like to be and then head out. If you have your heart too set on one particular ball, you’ll be way too determined for the easy-going persona of the successful ball crasher.

  • Blend. Try and pick a gathering that you basically look like you belong to. I probably wouldn’t try and crash the “Tuxedos and Cowboy Boots” ball, because, well, I’m me. (I thought about crashing the google ball, but the invitations were barcoded. That technology intimidated me.) If you are ball crashing in an environment in which you are pretty comfortable, you can achieve the I’m-Supposed-To-Be-Here attitude which will discourage anyone from asking to see your ticket.

  • Gussy Up. If the monitor likes your dress, s/he is way less likely to hassle you.

  • Be Discreet. Please don’t crash a ball and tell everyone that you did it! There will be people in attendance who paid good money for those tickets and they do not want to see you gloating while scarfing down a plate of lamb chops.


    • [divider]

    There are 2 comments on "How To Crash a Ball: A Primer". If you'd like to leave a comment, click here to jump down to the comments entry form.

    Comment #1, by James [TypeKey Profile Page]

    Hi, I live in Africa. Your blog on how to crash a ball is great.I have got something to add:
    when you enter,don't smile unnecessarily or even try to greet. Walk like you own the place but avoid spotlights.

    January 28, 2009 10:56 AM

    Comment #2, by James [TypeKey Profile Page]

    Hi, I live in Africa. Your blog on how to crash a ball is great.I have got something to add:
    when you enter,don't smile unnecessarily or even try to greet. Walk like you own the place but avoid spotlights.

    January 28, 2009 10:57 AM

    Your Comments

    You are signed in as (sign out)

    Please keep comments relevant to the topic. Inappropriate and offensive comments may be edited and/or removed without warning. Comments found on this site don't necessarily reflect the views of Tayari Jones.

    (optional)

    (required)