Tayari's Blog: Wag of The Finger but Also a Hug

Posted by TayariJones on March 16, 2009 12:43 PM
Filed under The Writing Life

Something happened today that I think is worth discussing for all of us out there in Writerland. A friend, a former student, and a terrific writer was accepted into MacDowell for the summer. After seeing my frowny-face report yesterday, he was reluctant to tell me. While I love him to death for having such a tender and sympathetic heart, I hope that he will know that he can ALWAYS tell me his good news. He's my student and I am happy for him, always. (And doesn't he know that his accomplishments are mine, too? I brag about him. BRAG.)

This is an issue that will come up again and again. If you are a teacher, and you're any good, you will have at least one student that passes you by in terms of success. That's the way it's meant to be. You teach them everything you know and they add to whatever they came with and let's hope they end up with something magical and better.

On the peer side of equation, this will happen again and again. You have to learn how to listen to your friends squeals of delight and be honestly happy for them-- even if you applied for the same position. On the flip side, as a friend, you have to choose friends who can celebrate with you. But also, you have to learn to be friend enough to keep the back-flips in check.

It's a delicate dance, but it's part of the choreography of this life we've chosen.

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There are 2 comments on "Wag of The Finger but Also a Hug". If you'd like to leave a comment, click here to jump down to the comments entry form.

Comment #1, by Incertus [TypeKey Profile Page]

I know the feeling--I have a student right now who's doing incredible work, and who will, if she keeps it up, leave me well in the dust, I suspect, and I can't feel anything but joy for her.

Sure, it's tough sometimes to see other people get honors you were hoping for, but the other option, at least for me, would seem to be bitterness, and I don't want to live my life like that. My ego isn't so fragile that I can't enjoy seeing other people succeed, though I know some people for whom that is not the case.

March 16, 2009 06:14 PM

Comment #2, by James Tsekumah [TypeKey Profile Page]

I think the mistake that most of us young folks make is that, we think success is something you do once. On the contrary, success is something you do repeatedly.

March 23, 2009 10:10 AM

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