Tayari's Blog: Soon and Very Soon: Notes from Ghana
Posted by TayariJones on July 14, 2009 12:29 PM
Filed under
Travels & Rambles
While I was away, I caught some of the news coverage of the Obama's visit to the Cape Coast Slave "Castle" in Accra, Ghana. I caught a few minutes of the report on CNN and I had to turn it off. This visit just wasn't treated with the respect that it deserved.
Last November, I visited the "castle"-- and that word must be used with quotation marks. It is no more a castle than Abu Graib is a castle, and more than Treblinka-- despite the size and architecture. These structures-- which dot the seafronts of Ghana-- were torture chambers. I have never encountered a more wretched space in my life. After the "tour", I understood why I felt haunted during my entire visit to Ghana. This was the site of mass murder of mass kidnapping, of torture and rape.
When I visited Cape Coast, I was so full of emotion that I could not speak. I mutely followed the guide from room to room. My Ghanain companion, Aisha, held my hand and it meant a lot that she was there. This was the moment in our history when we had been pulled apart. She might have been my sister, were it not for this place. Even typing this now, I am crying, although my face was oddly dry as I listened to the guide explained what had happened in that place. I didn't cry when I touched a mark etched two feet from the floor-- this is what archaeologists have determined was the level of human filth in which my ancestors had wallowed, for months. The famous "Door of No Return" is a full sized door now, through which tourists may pass, but when our ancestors went through, it was a half door, through which they were forced to crawl. Overwhelmed with grief, I found myself taking comfort in gospel music, humming "Soon and Very Soon." My humming was sometimes so loud I couldn't even hear the guide.
I didn't blog this in November, because I felt like an African-American cliche. And maybe on some level, I felt shame about my level of grief, some residual generation shame about having been victimized. I evn felt a little exposed even writing about the haunted beaches of Accra. It seemed a little too New-Age or Afrocentric, but what happened on that beach did happen.
And this happened too: I left the Cape Coast "Castle", dry-eyed, but shaken to my core. I made my way to the courtyard where my driver was to meet me. I took off my ordinary sunglasses and from them poured a steady stream of water. There was so much water streaming from my sunglasses that it wet the cobblestones and splashed on my feet. Generations of tears, as salty as the cruel ocean itself.
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There are 7 comments on "Soon and Very Soon: Notes from Ghana". If you'd like to leave a comment, click here to jump down to the comments entry form.
Comment #1, by Mack H. Jones ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tayarijones.com/blog/nav-commenters.gif)
Tayari, you speak so eloquently for all of us. I did not record my feelings after I visited the fort some twenty-five years ago. I think I was unable to sort out my feelings. Today you congealed them for me.
July 14, 2009 02:23 PM
Comment #2, by Grapes at Midnight
Tayari,
I read your blog religously, but I'm usually too shy to comment. However, this post moved me to stop "lurking" as they say in blog lingo. Oh, the generations of tears. How heartbreaking, yet beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
With love,
Karen
July 14, 2009 10:05 PM
Comment #3, by XTRADONAIRE
Thank you, for being so nakedly open with your emotions. I was touched deeply by your expression of your emotions, it caused me to think deeply and to deal with similar emotions of my own. I think we (Black Americans) all
search daily (unknowingly) for a place call home.
Love Your Writing,
Thank You,
Larry "Xtradonaire MoTown" Moton
July 15, 2009 01:47 AM
Comment #4, by Ladylee
Wow... it's daunting just reading your thoughts on the visit. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to go there. It takes a lot of courage to stand in the places where our ancestors suffered.
Thanks for being brave and sharing it with us.
July 15, 2009 06:13 AM
Comment #5, by Ru Freeman
Tayari -
This post was so incredibly moving. It made me think of the Barry Unsworth novel, SACRED HUNGER, except that your reaction was so personal and visceral and therefore that much more evocative. A Caucasian friend of mine visited SA not long ago and she was upset because, she said, she kept asking about apartheid and the guide didn't want to answer her questions. She wanted to have "an experience." So much of generational history cannot be shared, it has to be felt. And stories are best when they come charging out as yours has. Thanks for the post.
July 15, 2009 10:05 AM
Comment #6, by Tara Betts
Can I tell you that I want to make this trek, but I am afraid of having that moment that you had? I know I'll go, but I can't imagine how I'm really going to feel.
July 15, 2009 01:45 PM
Comment #7, by human2
I'm glad to have found your blog. With the profound thoughts you have shared about Ghana, and your book "The Untelling" that I absolutely loved, I look forward to following your blog. Again, thanks.
July 19, 2009 01:07 PM