Tag Archives: bucketlist

Pep Talk For A Young Writer

Dear A–

Every rejection letter starts something like this:  ”Dear Ms. Jones, I am sorry to tell you that we are unable to offer you a fellowship/residency/admissions/whatever.”  Then there is a statement like this, “We received a GAZILLION submissions from qualified applicants but we were only able to award one-point-five fellowships/residencies/admissions/whatever.”  I sometimes read that as– Dear Ms. Jones, we don’t like  you and or your work.

But after serving on a number of committees that award fellowships/residencies/admissions/whatever, I can tell you from the inside that this is actually true.  I have never sat on a grant panel where there haven’t been very good applications that had to be turned down.  This is mostly because of money.  Arts funding is at an all time low, and the economy is bad.  So what does this mean?  It means that artists who used to make enough money from doing art– because they are accomplished and well known– are now applying for more grants and contests to get by, to get published. It’s really shocking, how I see pretty big names on press releases for grants, etc that used to be unofficially earmarked for emerging writers.

You are not the only one feeling discouraged right about now. So I just wanted to urge you not to be so sad, or at least not to be so sad that you give up.  Your application was good.  I read it, helped you proof it.  So I know it was good.  And trust me, I wrote you a hell of a letter of recommendation   You deserved the opportunity and there was probably someone at the table that wanted to give it to you.  It’s just that times are hard.  There is less to go around right now.  But you are still growing and learning and creating.  Keep at it.  Try again next year.  It’s just a matter of time.  I promise.

Love,

Tayari

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Let’s Get Something Done This Summer.

InspirationEvery January I get excited about making New Year’s Resolutions.  I love the idea of a clean slate and 365 days of possibilities stretched out before me.  Every year I say– I’m going to get in shape! Write a new novel! Mend broken relationships! And then I set out on these tasks and I make good progress until about, say, March. I don’t know what happens.  But it happens.  Every year, I do it again because three months of excellent habits is nothing to sneeze at, but it’s not enough either.

In January I imagined that would be zipping through my novel. I thought the neighbors would be complaining about all the noise from my typewriters.  I also hoped I would be able to communicate in Spanish by now.  I took the language class, but it it just didn’t take. (sigh).  I pictured myself with all new clothes because my excellent nutrition and tireless exercise would have transformed me back to my high school self!  You get the idea.

On the plus side. I did pick up and go to Paris in January.  And I have kept true to my goal of writing at least three letters a month.  (Recipients of these letters, can you write me back?)  I’ve taken twitter and facebook off my phone, so I can be more present in my non-virtual life.  It’s amazing how different life is when there’s isn’t a cocktail party going on in your phone.  I’m actually something of a regular at my gym now.  3 days a week– 6am spin class.  I’m seeing results, too.  Slow, over-40 results, but something is happening and I’m proud of that.  My novel is moving forward…. slooooowly. But it’s getting there. I am not satisfied with my progress, but I must give myself a little credit.  That said, I have sort of lost that January sparkle.  Maybe it’s because I have gotten some rejections for some of the opportunities I so enthusiastically applied for in winter.  And maybe it’s just a natural ebb and flow.  But whatever the cause, it’s a rut and I don’t like it.

So this year, I decided to do the resolution thing more often.  So my resolve petered out in March.  Well, then it’s time to get some new resolve.  My idea is to try a summer resolution.  What do I want to accomplish between Memorial Day and Labor Day?  Here’s an (incomplete) list:

  1. Get in at least 4 writing days every week
  2. Add one extra day of weight training to my work out
  3. Go on two “artist dates” a month
  4. Learn to meditate
  5. In general, work harder at what matters to me

 

Okay, now it’s your turn.  What do you want for yourself this summer?

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Is Lisbon too far? Let’s Work Together in New York

This summer, I am teaching a fiction workshop in Lisbon, Portugual as part of the DISQUIET workshops and I am also teaching a workshop a little closer to home.  Please join me at the Manhattanville Summer Writers Week just north of NYC.

Manhattanville College’s MFA program in pleased to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of its Summer Writers’ Week from June 24-28, 2013.

Summer Writers’ Week offers writers an opportunity to spend an intensive week working closely with some of the country’s finest writers and teachers of writing. Enjoy workshops in Fiction, Poetry, Creative Nonfiction (Memoir/Autobiography), and Children’s/Young Adult Writing.

details here.

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The Best Way to Get Over Rejection? Get Rejected More Often

RejectionIt’s March and that means all those applications I sent off in January will be sending out YAYS and NAYS pretty soon.  Nothing feels as good as an acceptance.  A couple of years ago, I received a call saying I had been awarded a Radcliffe Institute Fellowship and my friend Rigoberto and I danced in the street.  We celebrated with martinis and sent zany selfies to the dean.  I mean, let’s face it.  Good news is always good news.  But we all know that nobody gets everything she applies for.

I have a couple of applications pending and I really really hope that I get at least one of them.  I usually apply to three things, hoping to get at least one.  This time, I have only two apps out there, so I am worried that I didn’t cover all my bases, but these things happen.

The point of this post is to give you my secret to dealing with rejection.  Here it is– get rejected all the time.  Seriously.  You will grow a thicker skin.  Take a lesson from middle school boys.

When I was in eighth grade,  I asked a boy to dance.  I spent about twenty minutes working up my nerve and another five minutes fretting about lip gloss.  Short version is that he said no, and I was crushed.  Crushed!  Why? Because I had never asked a boy to dance before and I had so much riding on it.  On the other hand, look at the boys in the room.  They were asking lots of girls to dance.  Some said no, some said yes.  (And let me tell you, when someone finally asked me, I said YES.)  But the boys didn’t have to run to the bathroom to cry after being rejected.  I’m not saying they liked it, but they regarded the rejections and just part of the process of finally getting someone to slow dance with them.  And they knew this– asking ten girls to dance greatly increases your chances getting a little smooch by the end of the night.

When I tell people that I received 22 rejections for my first novel, they sometimes gasp and ask me how I was able to take it.  But truthfully, out of those 22, I only remember three or four of them.  But the acceptance– I’ll never forget it.

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February Travel

2013_February Calendar

This month, I will be giving readings and signings in Tennesee, Maryland, Alabama and Tennessee.  If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you there.  Here are the details:

  • Thursday, February 21, 7:00p,m–Salisbury, Maryland
    Wor-Wic Community College, Echoes and Visions Reading Series
    Reading and Signing
  • Saturday, February 23 — Birmingham, Alabama
     Southern Voices Festival
    Reading and Signing
  • Wednesday, February 27, 6pm– Clemson, South Carolina
    356 Sushi & Martini Bar (366 College Ave, Clemson, SC, 29631).
    Reading and Signing
  • Thursday, February 28, 6pm– Johnson City, Tennesee
    East Tennesee State University
    Reading and Signing
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Fiction & Fashion In Park Slope

I admit it.  I love clothes.  And my favorite boutique in the world is COZBI in Park Slope.  When ever I want to look my best, I look to Cozbi Carbrera’s designs.  When I was preparing to go on a fifty city book tour, I knew Cozbi would hook up the perfect outfits– gorgeous fabrics & eye catching designs that a real woman can wear.

This weekend, I would like to invite you to experience COZBI.  There is a special sale all weekend long– Friday to Sunday.  On Saturday, February 2 from 11am-7pm, I will personally be at COZBI signing all three of my novels and also trying on clothes and enjoying the amazing sale.  Please come and join me.

COZBI
351 5th Ave
Park Slope, Brooklyn
718.246.7960

(and here’s a video we did together. yes, i was excited.)

 

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“…the first thing a writer must do is love the reader and wish the reader well.”

“…the first thing a writer must do is love the reader and wish the reader well. The writer must trust the reader to be at least as intelligent as he is. Only in such well wishing and trust, only when the writer feels he is writing a letter to a good friend, only then will the magic happen.

I have done the other thing. I have written bitter and cruel things and even published some them and I regret every one.”

from Falling Through Space by Ellen Gilchrist

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Hot Fun In The Summertime: 10 Writing Opportunities

sunglasses in da darkWhile you’re still feeling resolution-y, here are some summer writing courses/workshops/retreats that you should look into:

There are the ones I’m participating in:
DISQUIET International:  Two weeks of writing in Portugal, by the sea!
Manhattanville Summer Writers Week: Just an hour’s train ride from NYC.

 

 

And here are more:

Bread Loaf Writers Conference: Middlebury, VT
VONA Workshops for Writers of Color: Berkeley, CA
Lambda Literary Retreat for Emerging LGBT Voices:  Los Angeles, CA
Sewanee Writers Conference:  Sewannee, TN
Napa Valley Writers Conference: St. Helena, CA (did this last year.. LOVED)
Wesleyan Writers Conference, Middletown, CT
FAWC Summer Workshops, Provincetown, MA (really cool because there are classes all summer so it’s easy to fit in your schedule.)
Squaw Valley Writers, Nevada City, CA. (poetry only)

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Finding the time is write is hard, but finding the courage is harder.

Yesterday, I sat down to write.  It’s the new year and I have big plans and I have made a big committment to those plans.  I am taking an entire year’s leave from my teaching job in order to fully dedicate myself to writing a new novel.  It’s a big deal, a big blessing, all of that– so why did I sit down to my desk on New Year’s morning and feel like of… nervous?  Am I not the person who whines that I don’t have enough time to write?  Well here’s time, a lot of it, and I was acting like I was afraid of my typewriter.

It’s hard to do what it is you want to do.  Wanting is the easy part.  Trying your hardest, well that’s when it gets tricky.  Every great effort runs the risk of great failure.  With every new book, I have the fear that maybe I won’t be able to pull it together.  Maybe this project is too ambitious.  My novel in progress features the voices of three characters– two of them are men.  This is new territory for me and I had somehow managed to freak myself out.

So instead of spending the day working on my manuscript, I spent the day working on me.  I typed myself little love note you see here.  I wrote all my fears and worries in my journal.  But I also wrote down all my goals and hopes.  I also took stock of every good thing that happened in the last year.  I wrote down the names of my friends and my family.  I wrote the names of my mentors.  I wrote the names of my earlier books and the characters.

In short, I reminded myself that I am not alone and I can do this.

And I will.

And you will.

Happy New Year.  Happy You Year.

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Write Tip: Getting Letters of Recomendation

It’s that time of year. If you’re like me, you’re setting goals and resolutions for 2013. And for me, this includes applying for various grants, awards, fellowships, and other opportunities. No matter where you are on the publishing totem pole, and no matter what you’re applying to, you are going to need letters of recommendation. I can’t overstate how important these letters are. So, to that end, the purpose of this post is to provide you with some tips on how to get the strong letters you are going to need to boost your applications.

Why do I even need letters? Shouldn’t my writing be enough?

Well, not really. The purpose of the letters is to create a narrative to supplement what you have turned in on your application. For example, if you are applying to graduate school, there is the question of can you write—which is what your writing sample is for. But there is are other questions like—does this applicant get along with other people? Does she have the follow through to complete what she starts? Is she crazy? The letters are there to fill in the gaps of what the committee can’t see from the resume.

Who should write the letters?

I know that some people believe that the writing biz is “all about who you know.” And, while, yes, it would probably be a plus to have a letter from a really famous person proclaiming you to the best writer ever, in the world, I don’t recommend that you go get a rec from the most prominent person you have access to. These are the things you should take into account when soliciting a letter:

How well does this person know you? You want to someone that can write a strong letter with lots of details with you and your writing. As a person who has participated on selection committees, I have seen letters from Very Famous People that are only three or four lines long: “I do not know XYZ candidate very well, but when I taught him at Bread Loaf he was a good writer.” A letter like that is not going to do anything for you. It would be much better to have a letter from a lesser known writer who can talk about you with more enthusiasm in more detail.

Do my letters have to be from writers? If you don’t know any writers, then obviously, you can’t get letters from writers. But it will be harder to get attention for the letters, but you have to work with what you have. If you haven’t yet worked with writers, try and get your letters from people who can speak to your dedication to writing and your character.

If the application calls for three references, how do I pick the three people? Keep in mind that different people can write about different aspects of your life. One person may testify to your writing skills, and someone else may know more about your gifts of organizations. Also consider that some writers are known for certain subject matters, or a certain writing style. If your work dovetails with that person’s specialty, then that’s a perfect fit. Your goal is to put together a letter writing team that can showcase all the things you’re good at.

What can I do to get good letters?

The main thing you can do is to be a good writer and a good citizen. The letters will focus on the quality of your writing and the kind of person you are. Your letter writer will likely be someone who has observed you in a number of situations, so keep in mind that you are always making an impression. If you are in school, conduct yourself in class in such a way that the professor will be happy to endorse you for a fellowship or grant. This is particularly true for MFA students—the letters in your file are as important as your GPA. There are some professors who write letters for all their students, but they don’t write strong letters for everyone. Trust me, committees can tell when a letter is written out of obligation. You have to work hard to earn strong letters.

The other thing you must do is to request the letters in a professional fashion. Think of each letter of recommendation as a gift. It takes me about an hour and an hour and a half to write a good one, and this time of year, I have many requests on my desk. You want to make sure that you get the best letter your recommender will write. So here are some tips:

Send supplementary materials. Don’t assume your recommend knows you well enough to write you a strong letter. Send your resume, a description of what you’re applying for, and a writing sample. It’s also good to include a copy of your statement of purpose that you’re including in the application so the recommender can know what you’re aiming for.

Make it as painless as possible for the recommender. I once had a former student who was applying to MFA programs. He sent me a shiny folder containing all the supplementary materials mentioned above, but also stamps and labels to make it easy for me to send off the applications. Not only was I pleased by the convenience factor, but I was also impressed by all the time he spent getting his act together. My letter was influenced by this, since it was clear that he was serious. His packet reflected the way he conducts himself as a writer—dedicated and committed. I wrote him a super-strong detailed letter and he got in everywhere he applied.

Finally, my last bit of advice is that you use a dossier service. Most universities offer this in the career placement department, but AWP also offers a dossier service. With this, your recommenders send a letter to the service who keep it on file. When you need a letter, you tell the service to send it, that way, you don’t have to keep asking people to send additional copies every time you apply for something. Update your letters every couple years or so to reflect your current level of fabulousness.

Good luck!

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